Breaking Busy

I recently listened to an interview with author Alli Worthington about her book Breaking Busy: How to Find Peace and Purpose in a World of Crazy. As a relatively new mom of three, it was something that resonated with me long after the podcast had ended, because I could totally relate with everything she was saying: I know that I am way too busy, doing things that aren't all that important, and that take up too much of my time and energy, negatively influencing my health, my relationships and my productivity.

Perhaps you're in this space too and, like me, want to break the cycle before it breaks you. Here are some things I found useful:


Warning Signs
If you're finding that you're always busy, always doing things, constantly exhausted and in desperate need of a rest, although you're not quite sure when you're going to get a chance to do so, the odds are pretty good that you're overdoing it.

A good indicator for me is when my emotions are out of control - i.e. there's crying involved, impatient snapping and generally more moodiness. This is evidence to me that my expectations have gotten out of control as well. Also, I'm never late. I pride myself on that. So when I start running late, or just not getting around to doing what I must before I have to be somewhere, I'm pretty sure I have too many commitments.

When we don't take care of ourselves enough, it shows, and if we don't get it in the hints above it eventually knocks us down, literally, and we get ill. Recurrent illness, especially when we just can't get over it, is usually as a direct result of being burnt out.

Take Action
One of the things that was suggested was to, instead of making a "To Do" List to help you get through all the many things you need to get done, make a "Stop Doing" List to eliminate the unnecessary from your schedule. Ask yourself, "What are the two or three things that I’m doing now that I know in my gut I don’t want to do?" along with, "What is it God wants me to do (or not)?"

Another really useful thing is to set boundaries (in advance) around what is realistically possible to commit do. This may include limitations on how many extra murals the kids can do, or which class parties they're going to attend (because if that calendar is anything like my son's class' there's a party - or two - every weekend some months). By knowing in advance what you want to fill your time with, and what the capacity on each activity is, you'll be less likely to over commit.

Ask for help. Don't be afraid of admitting that things are hectic and you need assistance. Often people are willing to, but don't want to overstep without being given permission to do so.

Worrying leads to anxiety because of the spiral of negative thoughts and accompanying emotions. To turn the focus away from what you're bothered by, start to give yourself a truth talk, and replace whatever negative thoughts you have with truth from the Word - about who you are, and what you're meant to be doing, and how you're doing to deal with whatever it is staring you down.

  

Tools to Make Better Choices
Alli's Five Fs of decision making helps us to weigh our own thoughts and feelings against things that which either influence, or are influenced by, the outcome of our choices.

Faith – review your options in light of God, His word and with prayer

Family – be in agreement with your partner and consider the impact on your family

Future – think about how you may feel about things later on (10 minutes, 10 weeks, 10 months)

Fulfillment – consider your individual skills and talents, and whether or not they align with this

Friends – get the input from friends who have earned the trust and right to speak into your life on it

 

People, this is my goal: I want to be less busy (in general), and to change the focus of my productivity to those things that really matter (my faith, my health, my family) despite the 'cost' it may come at. I am pretty sure it's way less than the alternative. 

Defeating Day Zero

It is now (finally) common knowledge worldwide that Cape Town is in the third year of a devastating and debilitating drought that has us staring Day Zero (when municipal water will be shut off) head on.

Theewaterskloof Dam - Cape Town's primary source of water - as it looks at the moment

I posted on water saving tips last year (click here to read the post), and thought it would be good to compare what our household is currently doing under Level 6b water restrictions (using no more than 50L per person per day).

Washing Wisely: we are currently washing in buckets of less than 5L water, often sharing this water for the kids, and taking a 90 second shower only every other day. I wash my hair over a bucket in the bath using water caught from a shower, and rinse with the cleaner water caught when the shower water was warming.

Saving Grey Water: we save all bath, shower, washing and other used water, and flush the toilets using this water. We have banned the flushing of toilets with municipal water, and flush using buckets because this uses up to half of the water a normal flush (from the cistern, even with grey water) would use.

If it's yellow, let it mellow... has gone to the next level, I tell you. I have three boys living in this house, so you can imagine the impact. We have a mixture of white vinegar, essence (any) and food colouring that that we 'treat' the toilet with after each wee, however, we only flush after a poo - once a day, if we can manage it - with grey water. We also, as far as possible, leave loo paper out of the toilet to reduce the risk of blockage. Needless to say, the budget for air freshener has increased.

Fully Loaded: water collection aside, one of the biggest adjustments at Day Zero will be having to do our washing from our daily allocation. We currently do no more than 6 loads of washing per month. We are extra careful about trying to keep our clothing clean, and only throw items into the laundry when it's become essential to do so. It's not always possible to fill our front loader with grey water, especially when we are using grey water faster than we are generating it, so to save in this area we wash our washing on the rinse cycle. This uses 60% less water than the eco cycle, and we are still able to catch the water for grey water use. We also do dishes only once a day, in minimal water, in a bucket in the sink so that, if possible it can be re-used or cast into the garden.

Glug and Gulp: We each take 1 - 2L water to school and work with us for drinking as most places have already turned off the public taps. We opt for take out packaging when eating out, and also use lunchboxes - even for school breakfasts and cooked lunches - which are returned home for us to wash there.

As a household we have never been big water users. Still, by consistently doing this - even without a storage tank (besides the cost factor, we don't have the space outside our home to erect one) any without collecting spring water - we have been able to remain below 6KL water per month throughout, despite having our family expand twice since the start of the drought.


For those who are not in Cape Town, I'd like to challenge you to try living under Level 6b water restrictions (click here for the full restrictions) for at least one weekend. To give you an idea of what 50L of essential use could look like:

Source: Eye Witness News

More than the mismanagement of resources, or developments in climate change, this drought has taught me not to take water for granted, brought to my attention the insane amount of clean drinking water we have wasted on non-essential things, and given me empathy for the plight of millions all over the world for which these restrictions (and more) are a daily reality. No one should have to live this way!

Please watch the video below, and do everything that you can to not only to save water in your own home, but also to support the efforts to provide water to all people.

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Our Visit to Alphen Vet

During the Christmas holidays, on a rare but very welcome overcast morning, I planned to take all the grand-kids a year and older on an outing to allow the parents and caregivers some time to work (or relax). Thank goodness for my Pops and sister who were able to assist me, because when I did the numbers, I calculated six kids and Bayley!

It was cold and raining when we arrived, and for a moment I thought perhaps the opportunity to visit would be canceled, but Alphen Vet was happy to have us regardless of the weather. And despite the chill, we were very happy to be there.

Listening intently to the information on the animals

Not quite sure what all the fuss is about

The kids were able to learn about, feed and play (as much as they were allowed) with the resident miniature horses, springbok (one of our kids' response was: hey, they're on South Africa's rugby jersey), alpacas, tortoises, chickens and rabbits.

The Bokke

Going to feed the rabbit some carrots

Zac, on his second visit, was less apprehensive this time

Ethan: just too cool for school

Sammy up close and personal

Matthew: incognito

Jorja managed to spot a well camouflaged tortoise

Jorja confidently feeding the alpaca

Adrienne getting in on the action as well

They were also allowed to play on the jungle gym, and treated to cookies, juice and take-home colouring sheets.

The entire brood playing together

Pops walking Bayley into slumber

Thank you Alphen Vet for a great morning out! For more information on vet services as well as more open mornings/afternoons for play, please visit their website: www.alphenvet.co.za or Facebook Page.