Lockdown Day 35: The End of the Beginning

It's the final day of the initial lockdown. Tomorrow morning we move to Level 4. To be honest, I leave the 'safety' of Level 5 with apprehension. We have become used to being kept in our homes, possibly the safest place to be. Now, we're allowed to venture out - under strict measures, of course - and I'm almost not sure I want to.

In many ways, Level 4 is simply Level 5 with more people allowed to go to work. Basically (in my limited opinion anyway), unless you are part of the sectors that are reopening, you are still in Level 5 lockdown - with a 3hr window and 5km radius to venture out in. I'm not sure everyone sees it that way though. I guess the thing I fear is a sudden disregard for all things Lockdown, and people doing exactly as they please, whether or not it's a safe or wise thing to do, given the circumstances.

It's funny how the prospect of 'more freedom' leaves me desiring less freedom; how after wishing for 35 days to just get out, I now am nervous to do so. I suppose this is the real test of our faith, our peace, and our joy. If it cannot venture out into the world with us - and hopefully impact others - how is it helping?

Tonight I go to sleep ending one chapter, and embarking on another, holding fast onto His promises.

Lockdown Day 34: Craving Connection

The issue of connection - human connection - is becoming increasingly interesting to me. In my job, I have noticed an increase in the anxiety and withdrawal of our students as they battle not being physically contactable with their friends. It seems that even in the age of modern technology that allows you to virtually be in the same room, it's really not the same. In my own life, I have had almost a week now of vivid dreams starring friends and family. Some of them are my usual crew; the people we do every day life with. Others I haven't seen for ages. Regardless, I wake up missing them deeply.

The phrase "no man is an island" suggests that people thrive in community with other people, and I think I have to agree. As much as I have managed to still be productive this last month (more so in some areas than others, of course),  I can't really say that I have enjoyed it more. I liken it to surviving - a far cry from actually thriving. The truth is, I am craving human connection in a way that, without thinking, prioritises my relationships for me. Some of those relationships I have nurtured diligently these past few years; others I have neglected for ages.

I'm not saying we should use this time to evaluate the 'performance' of our friends or friendships. I'm not sure this kind of trauma (shall we just call this pandemic what it is?) is necessarily the best place to have perspective. Some people are frantically reaching out now, while others are focusing on coping themselves. We all deal with things differently. Perhaps, however, if is a good time to evaluate ourselves; do some quiet introspection about who the people are you really matter, and what we'd like to do differently when this is all over...

Lockdown Day 33: Handy Andy

I joke about it, but I don't think I have ever appreciated Andel more than I have during this lockdown.

As you will recall, initially I was home alone with the kids when the schools had been closed, and we were not yet in lockdown. During that time, Andel was heading to work each day, facing the varying faces of wrath from the public who were still very much divided on what we should and should not have been doing at the time. Then the President made the call, and everything shut down, and Daddy came home.

The start was rocky, I won't lie, but he has come a long way since Day 1. He has taken over the role of ECD educator with enthusiasm. He upholds a high standard of work, and enforces the code of conduct with a stern word (although Bayley may give you some other versions). Seriously, I have seen him dive into multiple Zoom sessions, navigate parent WhatsApp groups, tackle various crafts, and triumphantly tick off the day's activities one by one as he determinedly gets the kids through it. And he does it with a smile - mostly. It's not like he doesn't have his own work to do. Granted, he doesn't have to deal with people online or in person each day; still, he has been going to work at least twice a week because of various issues, check ups and meetings he has to attend to while they wait to reopen.

Making Pumpkin Soup with Sam

He is also currently the only member of this family who is leaving the house. This means that he is getting up early another once or twice a week to head to the store for us to get supplies. He goes decked out in his mask and other protective gear, and waits in long queues to collect items of a shopping list that, truthfully, he is sometimes afraid to get wrong. He has learnt about sticking to a budget, and pricing cost per kilo, for sure! Sometimes, if the final stop allows, he even brings me home a freshly made dry chai latte - like manna from heaven!

A new kind of masked superhero

It would not be an exaggeration to say that Andel is doing more now than he ever has. But I don't mean that to be critical. Rather, let me highlight how much this man has grown as a hands-on husband and father during this time. He has juggled the kids while I worked on my own assignments. He has sat up rubbing my back and neck as I grade and prep my students' assignments. He has done crazy cardio and stretch workouts with me, and even roped me into the Koala Challenge just for fun. He has quietly endured my frustration when parent-led schooling doesn't work, and taken control before I've had a chance to explode over it. He has lit the fire when I have not been able to get around to dinner, and brought me tea and treats in bed (even though I ask him not to) because he knows it brings me comfort. He let me sleep in 6 hours on Saturday! I feel physical relief at the realisation that I don't have to do everything, alone - and I feel immense love and gratitude for this man who is truly my partner.

Our resident Braai Master

This time, although possibly the most troubled we will go through in our lifetime, will also always be remembered as one of - if not the - greatest staycation our family has had. It has brought us joy, peace, and unity that I doubt may ever be replaced. And I could never have managed or survived this, without my Handy Andy!

We love you!

Lockdown Day 30, 31 & 32 - Freedom Wee-ee-eekend

Man, did this past weekend pull a number on me. You would think that after being home for a month, one wouldn't really still look forward to - or feel the effects of - a long weekend. Apparently, this is not necessarily the case.

Fridays are always pretty slow. No matter how much - or less - I work that week, I'm always ready to call it a day come Friday. As a result, by the time the online Zoom sessions have ended at lunch, I'm ready to take a nap with the kids. We had talked about doing another family movie night, but I'm not sure what happened to it, because by 21h00 we were all in bed.

And you won't believe it: I was in bed until 11h30 the next day! Granted, I was woken at 05h30 to deal with hungry children fighting over the tv. But I went back to sleep soon afterward. And even though I didn't sleep until lunch time, just being in bed, away from everything, and not having anyone need or want me for a bit, was pure bliss! By the evening I started feeling bad about the fact that I really didn't have anything to show for the day, but it didn't last long as I realised this was the first weekend in a year that I was not worrying about working on my own studies!

On Sunday Andel and I woke up with that hungover feeling. We had sat up chatting late into the night (probably a consequence of the late lay-in I had), and only fell asleep around 04h00. Our children, who do not know how to sleep in anyway, did not think this a good enough reason to leave us alone, so we were soon pottering around the house, and getting groceries for the week. We had a late afternoon braai that fed us for lunch and dinner, and an earlier evening.

Yesterday was Freedom Day, and despite the apparent lack of freedom under lockdown, I was reminded of the gift we have to choose what it is we want to do on this day. The circumstances we find ourselves in right now don't come close to the restrictions many South Africans lived through - not for one month of lockdown, but for their entire lives!

The longer we are in lockdown, the more I feel like I won't miss the BC (before Corona) lives we lived previously. I think for those of us who have been lucky enough to have enough during this time, it has been a wonderful and privileged time to break free from the expectations, routine, and pressures - some self-inflicted - that have dictated the pace and direction of our lives for a while. I, for one, have never felt more free...

Lockdown Day 28 & 29 - My President

I have spent the better part of the last 24 hours really thinking about the president of South Africa, Mr. Cyril Ramaphosa. What a road he is on. I think about how he came into power, the emotion around the subsequent elections, the collective outcry over the state of our nation. Many began to doubt whether or not he was the right one to lead this nation...

But how he has stepped up to the plate. I have read countless tributes to him on social media. Even the World Health Organisation has commended him, singling him out in the manner in which he has responded to this global crisis, and done his best to protect the people of our country. One of my favourite descriptions of how he has handled the situation in South Africa is this: Third world country; First world President. It's true - he has approached this pandemic with wise council and genuine compassion, he has operated with prudence and integrity, and he has carried himself with grace - and good humour. I cannot think of a South African leader better equipped to take on this mammoth task than he.

So I leave you by this beautiful poem by Claire Lagerwall, and a reminder to pray for our president.

My President you're tired

We can see it in your eyes

It's not really something

You can easily hide

We see you across 

Our television screens 

Addressing the nation 

On a history unseen

We see you stumble 

Over words being said

And I pause to wonder 

What's going on in your head 

Are you coping Sir 

With all that you face

A broken nation 

Looking to you for grace

Are you okay Mr President

You look so sad

Your eyes tell a story

I'm sorry it's so bad

We pray for you 

Hold you in our thoughts

This is a war 

We have never fought 

I'm glad that you're ours

That we don't have to share

That our precious nation

Is under your care

With our cries of faith

We trusted God for a man

Who could steer a nation

Into unknown lands

Thank you, my President

For being so brave

Whilst a nation is judging 

Each move that you've made 

We pray for you Sir

We really do

And we thank God 

For a leader like you

Lockdown Day 27 - The Show Must Go On

I spent part of this evening watching an online jam session by an old friend of mine who is a full-time musician. I can't imagine extent of the impact this lockdown is having on him and others in the industry. In a world where the free alternative is so readily available, how do you replicate the live opportunities that earn these artists their money (and I realise this doesn't only go for musicians).

Well, another friend of mine - who also happens to be a full-time musician - has committed to do something significant, and is challenging others to do the same: go onto Spotify, find the artist pages of our local artists, and stream their music all day. It's also a really great opportunity to listen to, and appreciate local music. And even if, for whatever your reason, this is not your thing, you can stream it through the night without the volume up. Each time the song is streamed, something small is allocated to the artist. It's one of those things that, together, can make a big difference.

For more information on this, search through Spotify, or check out RJ Benjamin on Facebook. Do your bit to help those in need!

Lockdown Day 26 - Joy Comes in the Morning

Again, what a difference a day makes!

Yesterday did my head in. I have always considered it a strength of mine to push things through to completion, and I was ready to call off the week (on a Monday). Then after a good giggle at the craziness of it all, I sat down and got my arse into gear, properly prepping the remainder of the week. The result - today was completely different, and an absolute joy!

Tuesdays and Thursdays are the busiest days for me because, in addition to the kids' online schooling needs, I have the bulk of my own online classes and meetings on those days. They stretch me. And yet, today we were totally on top of things. Sam was cooperative and eager to learn. Zac was working independently getting loads done. Even Bayley was sticking to the school plan. Of course it isn't always like this, still, it was a good reminder:

"We may weep through the night, but at daybreak it will turn into shouts of ecstatic joy" Psalm 30: 5

Lockdown Day 24 & 25 - Night and Day

What a difference a day makes!

Yesterday was the literal and metaphorical calm before the storm. After summer-hot weather on Saturday, yesterday was pleasant and warm. Today it is storming. Similarly, yesterday was super chilled. It's a bit of a rarity in my home, so that's probably why it's raining today too. I'm talking about: I didn't get out of bed until about 11h00, and then it was to put on a load of washing or something, and I got back into bed again. I read, I did word puzzles, I graded some papers, we ate leftovers, we napped. S.U.P.E.R C.H.I.L.L.E.D.

I paid for it this morning though. And it's not like we weren't prepared for the week - I did that on Saturday (or so I thought). This morning, I was loading the work for my students onto their Google Classrooms when I got two messages - one from Zac's teacher, the other from Bayley's - and in flooded their work for the week. And I mean flooded. I didn't not know if I was coming or going. At one point we had four devices facilitating three different lessons, and for the first time since becoming parents of three, Andel and I felt seriously outnumbered. I had to deliver an online snack-making session around lunch time (I basically let the kids make their own lunch) before Andel went to work. Apart from a meeting at 15h00, I didn't get my own work before 16h00! Today, it got real!

I'm not sure whether to count down to the end of this extension, or put my head down and make sense of it all so that we survive. In the heat of the moment, I want to scream, cry, and call it a day. But when I get to the end of the day, having had us achieve something more than we expected, I have to laugh. This lockdown and everything that goes with it sure is doing a number on us all!

Lockdown Day 23 - Essential Services

Lately I have heard of a number of strange things that have been permitted (or perhaps just overlooked) as essential services. For example: being allowed to travel to another small town to collect a teenager needing to be relocated, or starting an after-dark vigilante group (I'm not kidding). It has made me consider what exactly constitutes an essential service?

Some things are obvious, like health care workers, food suppliers, police offers. But then, what about the people who supply the patches for Sam's vision training who will not allow us to get more, or couriers who are not going to deliver the replacement specs I need to see? What's the difference between delivering food, and delivering aids or paperwork. These are just examples, of course. Still, it opened up an even bigger conversation for the kids.

Last night, while playing, Sam knocked a loose tooth out of Zac's mouth, and suddenly the Tooth Fairy's job was in question. Thanks to Google and Jacinda Ardern, (amazing) president of New Zealand, Zac quickly confirmed that the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy are both essential workers. And so this morning when he woke, Zac was delighted to receive a note and some reward for his tooth. Fortunately the ATM is still functioning as an essential service...

Lockdown Day 22 - The Story Continues

I didn't think that the lockdown extension would make that much of a difference to my life. After all, we just continue doing what we've been doing the last twenty-odd days, right? Wrong. I was so surprise to find myself in a funk yesterday. I thought perhaps it was just that Friday exhaustion. It turns out, whether I admitted it to myself or not, I was prepared for 21 days. Nothing more. So when I lost the plot in a big way yesterday, I had to acknowledge that I need a reboot for this next stretch.

The good news is, everyone is on a professional distance learning plan. I am no longer required to put anything together from scratch anymore, and I can turn my focus back solely on my own work. I think that's going to save me some time. Also, Andel is all into this routine now, so we have a plan.

But as we find our selves sleeping in later and later (we're around 07h30 now, two hours later than usual), the next question is: will we ever recover from this lockdown?

Lockdown Day 21 - The Koala Challenge

Late last night -  while lying in bed, listening to the children who, although they were in bed, were nowhere near asleep - Andel was scrolling through his social media, looking at the all the challenges currently on the go (I'll spare you my self-righteous thoughts for another time). One in particular grabbed his attention: The Koala Challenge.

This is not new. The Koala Challenge has been around for a year-and-a-half already, but it's made a bit of a comeback, first as a fundraiser for the fires that ravaged Australia earlier this year, and now as an exercise challenge for couples during lockdown. Here is what it looks like, done by Andel's colleague who posted their attempt on Instagram.

Given that we have been nominated to take part in a few challenges that didn't really suit us, this one piqued our interest. So much so, that we got out of bed, had the kids join us (to film it, of course), and did two of them. Here are our ammeter home videos for your entertainment, courtesy of Zac (who happened to cut off the first bit in video 2).

Now that you've watched them, consider yourself challenged to do the same! :)

#koalachallenge

Lockdown Day 20 - Brain-Dead

Popular opinion says that it takes 21-days to change a habit, behaviour or thought pattern. Maybe the initial 21-day lockdown had some of that psychology behind it. Of course, it has since been extended, so it's immaterial. Still, as Andel and I were saying last night, it's worth mentioning that in 20 days we have become accustomed to a "new" routine.

Ordinarily, we would be in bed by 21h00, and awake again by 05h30. We may be getting the same number of hours sleep most nights but it's definitely not at the same time. There is no urgency to get going, even though we are facilitating distance learning for three young children. There is no need to even be groomed. To be honest, all my professional online meetings (and I have two to three a day) have been done in a suitable top thrown over my pyjamas. Dinner is done before 16h00. We save time. And we lose it.

Between Zoom calls, Google Classroom, my inbox, my studies, and YouTube, I have serious screen fatigue. My butt and back are stiff thanks to my ill-fitted makes-shift desks, and the dinning room chair, clearly not made for extended periods of sitting. My eyes are basically squint by the time I get to bed. It's like I could have made it in one piece if tomorrow was the last day - but more than that? I wonder. I'm fast approaching being a brain-dead hermit who probably won't leave the house even when the lockdown is lifted.

Of course, I could be tired and emotional. Is anyone else feeling like this?

Lockdown Day 19 - School

The Department of Education gave many reminders to parents about this period of lockdown being a holiday. I confess though, I did not follow that advice. In our house, I have been teaching online since our term started on March, 23 - before lockdown even started - so we have been working. This also means that Sam has been attending virtual school, and Bayley by association. Zac was not going to get a free pass here, and have me deal with complaints about boredom and inequality. So, we've been doing school for a while.

I have spoken to many friends and family who are also juggling the responsibilities of work and home, and while I know this doesn't work for everyone, I thought I would share what we are doing to have some kind of routine in our house. We have three kids - Grade 3, Grade RR and Nursery - so we needed to be creative in putting something together that allowed them to have age appropriate activities and timeframes while still being somewhat synchronous to keep the adults sane. This is our schedule. Use it, don't use it. It's been my saving grace - and the kids seem to like it too!

Lockdown Day 18 - Two is Better than One

Two is better than one. And five is better than two. Ask me; I know!

As much as I crave some time to myself, I would not exchange the chaos of our family right now. Here are some of the things that my family gives me that I am most thankful for at this time:

My family gives me purpose outside of what I do for a living. They have given me an opportunity to care for them - even teach them - in a way that I've never been able to. They have allowed me to really prioritise being a wife and mother. And I have been able to find joy in it because it's not competing with everything I usually need time for. It's still helluva tiring, don't get me wrong, but it's worth it.

They give affection. I have two dominant love languages. One of them is physical touch. I can hardly walk past anything I am intrigued by and not reach out to touch it. This is only amplified with my family. I give lots of hugs and kisses, I rub my kids bellies and backs, I stroke their hair. Let's face it, I wouldn't be able to do any of this if I weren't house-bound with my family at this time. Thankfully, they return the favour, and my love tank has remained topped up.

My other love language is quality time, and my family is bringing me companionship. Andel and I sometimes chat about whether or not we would remarry if the other passed away, and we always joke that I would not survive solo. It's the truth. I'm an introvert and enjoy my alone time, but the one thing even better than alone time, is having it with someone else around. There is no shortage of conversation, stimulation, and integration around here right now, and I'm thankful for the company.

My children never fail to entertain. Between the crazy things that they do, funny faces that the pull, and choice phrases that come out of their mouths, we spend a lot of time laughing out loud. Maybe it's their age; perhaps it would be different if we were living 10 years from now. Still, I really love that they have embraced the adjustment, and are making the most of it. I'm also so glad that we have a big family -  they can entertain each other.

Family Day has taken on new meaning this year... Enjoy your time with yours.

Lockdown Day 17 - Easter

I love how Easter reminds us of the victory that we have in Christ Jesus. It's even more hopeful this year as the whole world wonders what will become of us. I'm reminded of the song,

Because He lives, I can face tomorrowBecause He lives, all fear is goneBecause I know - yes, I know - He holds the futureAnd life is worth the living, just because He lives

I woke up this morning, after a storm raged all night, to glorious sunshine - a new beginning, if you will. My heart was light, and I was filled with joy and peace. And then I realised I had been signing an old song in my head, probably from before I woke. I have shared it here because I believe this is the message of Hope that the Holy Spirit gave to me, for me - and for you.

Blessed Easter to you all!

Lockdown Day 16 - Panic

This seems to be the overwhelming sentiment in South Africa right now. Following the announcement on Thursday evening that the lockdown will be extended for another two weeks at least, there has been the inevitable knock on effect of loss of income.

Many, including us, are mulling over the numbers, hoping that it will still add up. Despite our best intentions of wanting to keep paying full price for everything to secure others' pay we are having to face up to the fact that, on reduced salaries, that may not be possible. This time brings with it a need for wisdom, big faith, and incredible measures of generosity.

Added to this, with the lockdown extended, it leaves the Education Department with the mammoth task of paving a way forward for the remainder of the year. I don't envy the leaders of their responsibility, or the decisions they have to make. Already, Zac's school has indicated that they are going to online learning from Tuesday - what should have been the delayed start of the new term. I have to admit that, while it's great for Zac, for me this means a greater need to be organised and busier keeping another child formally schooled.

The prospects are tiring. But I guess that's what happens when you get caught up in all the what ifs. It's difficult, but I'm determined - I will not panic; I will be at peace.

Lockdown Day 15 - Hey Mama

Hey Mama,

I see you, in your sweats
With unbrushed hair and bare feet
Your coffee cup a lifeline permanently affixed to your hand
No time to groom
No time to eat
No time to think
He sees you...

I see you, googling frantically
Zooming, loading, disconnecting
Cursing the teacher under your breath
Long forgotten primary school math
Long forgotten passwords
Long forgotten patience
He sees you...

I see you, trying to do your work
Sitting at your makeshift desk
Staring at the screen with tired eyes
So many tabs open
So many emails still unread
So many assignments not yet finished
He sees you...

I see you, late into the night
Counting out your pennies and your pantry
The day dies but the worries don't
When will it end?
Where will we be?
How will we survive?
He sees you...

He sees you and He knows you
He made you, after all
He's with you, holding onto you
He will not let you fall
He will give you strength when you are weak
He will bring life to dry bones
He will fill your cup to overflowing
He will bring peace to your homes
He's not at all surprised by this
He's still sovereign when it's tough
He is working for you, for your good
Rest!
His grace is still enough

Lockdown Day 14 - Hot Cross Buns

What is Easter without Hot Cross Buns? This year, considering we are unable to make numbers trips to the store for these seasonal delights, we decided to try making some at home.

Before I show you how this went down, I need to draw your attention to a few things:

1. Zac hates raisins. As a result we end up spending way too much on chocolate flavoured buns so that he is not left out.
2. Andel eats all his HCB with butter and cheese. It is beyond me how he does this with said chocolate variety. He is also on a gluten-free buzz.
3. Bayley and Sam love to eat. They can finish a pack of HCB in one day with ease. I think this is way too much sugar.
4. The best way for me to be healthy is to cut down on carbs. Under these conditions, I should not be allowed any HCB, unless I find a keto-friendly version

Enter Kayla Itsines' Healthy Hot Cross Buns recipe - raisin free, gluten-free options, sugarless and low calorie.

I'll admit, it doesn't taste exactly like the original, but this first attempt (at anything remotely bread-like) did not go badly at all. In fact, I'm pretty sure my kids have just eaten the last of it right now.

Blogging 301

We interrupt our regular lockdown diaries to celebrate our 301st published blog entry. Now 301 posts in 9 years is probably not much to write home about, but if you consider how many times I thought we would never get here, I think it's worth a mention today!


Happiness...

I am at the height of happiness right now. There isn't anything specific to blame for this. More than anything, I have learnt to become content, and I'm in a place of peace that I have longed for, for years.

Work... 

Who would have thought that I would be in my eighth year of school teaching this year. I certainly wouldn't have! I was so happy being a specialist tertiary lecturer, and designing curriculum, I didn't think I would be able to survive without it for long. But here I am, still teaching in schools. I realised early in my adult life that this was a calling I ran away from all of my younger life, and since I have accepted that, I have grown in whatever it is I need to do where I am - despite not knowing what that is much of the time. I am nearing 40 though, and I don't think I still want to be running sports and activities then - but who knows!


Music...

Starting a band, baby; we're starting a band. At least, that's what is feels like sometimes. Zac has being playing around on the drums for years now - and is pretty good too - and has recently started formal piano lessons too. He's loving it, and coming along quickly. Sam has suddenly grown in confidence and ability, and readily leads the singing from the front of our church. Of course, Bayley will not let herself by outdone, so by the end of it, everyone is involved somehow. Did I mention that we received a prophecy a year or so ago about us, as a family, leading nations in worship around the world?


Food...

Surprisingly, spending more time at home both over school holidays, as well as the last while under lockdown, has really impacted my kitchen skills. I've learnt to make roti and hot cross buns from scratch. I make homemade, sugar-free ice-cream; preservative-free, fruit popsicles; keto-brownies - it's getting impressive, by my standards anyway.


Adventure...

It's been a good season for adventures. We ended off 2018 taking a family trip to the UK which involved us sharing each other's space every day for over a month. Not only did we survive it; we loved it! It confirmed for us that we are ready to take on some more adventure, and so later in 2019 we took an impromptu road trip up the Garden Route to get a new car, and then had a hellish experience with AirBnB that took us on an unexpected and total treat of an adventure in Wellington. Since then, we're been braving more family things like camping, and now, surviving lockdown.


Love...

Andel and I have managed to keep our love under control, and for the first time on an anniversary blog, we are not adding another human to the family. Seriously though, we have crossed over into the second decade of marriage, and if I'm honest I have to say that it's way better than the first! All that pressure of trying to figure everything out is gone, and we have finally gotten over all our hangups that sometimes prevented us from being real with each other. We are in love with our three amazing kids - and them with each other. And for now the only pets we have are: their dream dog, Strava (not yet a reality), a pending hamster (that Sam wanted for his birthday), and the gecko family outside that the kids have adopted.


Memories...

I sometimes find myself scrolling back, trying to find out what we were doing a year, two years, or three years ago at this time. I have laughed, cried, and travelled back in time marvelling at the amazing things we've done, the variety of things we've been through - good and bad - and how God has taken us through it all. It's a wonderful tool to recall His faithfulness, and to testify of His goodness. The kids have also started enjoying looking back - for now, at the pictures - and remembering the events. I hope they'll have access to this for a long time still.


Play...

Things have gotten pretty serious in this area. Andel has taken his cycling to a new level. He's now done two sub-3hr Cape Town Cycle Tours (apparently that's a really good indicator?), placed 2nd overall in Knysna, and completed two team stage races - one of which he and his partner ended in 3rd place. Zac, in the meantime, has started playing cricket. I could devote a whole separate post to this, because he's crazy about it, and crazy good. Anyway, he started playing competitive mini cricket at school and club this past summer, and is loving it. So are we - except for the 08h00 Saturday matches; that we don't love as much. Sam has yet to decide on a path as far as his sport goes. He was enjoying playing rugby with Rugby Tots, as well as some cricket, but to be honest, I think Zac's intensity kills it for him sometimes. Sam has really developed in his drawings though - I'm talking at least 5 new pictures a day, every day! And Bayley: Bayley is game for anything and everything, so wherever the rest of us are, doing whatever we're doing, she is in the mix too.

ps. I am doing nothing. Again. Unless you count Muddy Princess and Tough Mudder. I did those last year.


Dreams...

It feels sometimes like I am outgrowing my dreams. Perhaps outgrowing is harsh. I think I am maturing, and I don't feel the same failure I used to about them being so elusive. I'm back at uni during my masters, but it's no longer for my ego. In fact, what I wanted to achieve in one year, I will now probably only achieve in four, but I am totally okay with prioritising being a good mom and wife, and a faithful worker above that - even though I dreamt the other day that I went to med school. All in all, my dreams have become simpler: to love and to be loved; to have my family safe and together; to be content with my life, and take full advantage of the joy in every day.


Laughter...

I guess with happiness, peace, contentment, and love one tends to laugh a lot more as well. I laugh loud and large, deep from my belly, until the tears run down my face. And sometimes, I even laugh at myself!


And everything else...

Lockdown Day 12 - Terrible Twos

If a child's degree of mischief and disobedience is directly proportional to the number of times you call said child by their full name, then Bayley Cate Klaasen is going to give us a run for our money!

This girl is the light of our lives. She has a little bit of everyone in just the right proportions for her to be smart, funny, loving, and simply delightful - and well as absolutely, flipping naughty! Man, since the official lockdown, she has just come out all guns blazing, and given us a full dose of her relentless energy and larger-than-life personality. And as a side order to that, we have had mirrors covered in toilet soap, khoki drawings on the walls, smashed guava lining our driveway, and daily theft of the contents in our pantry cupboards. I suddenly realise why I pay her daycare the fees that I do.

Today she finished me. She dresses herself - on the days when she actually gets dressed, that is. Usually, she prefers to walk around naked all day - and today she decided to go for an autumn, Easter-inspired outfit. She then also opted to tie her hair back as it was falling into her eyes all the time. She looked so cute, I wanted to freeze the moment and ponder in it a bit. Because right after that, she just got back up to the mischief she had taken a break from before.

Hopefully this terrible twos phase is just that - a phase while she is two - because, God help us if she's going to carry this to her teens! I think Sam said it best as I overheard him and Bayley playing together, "Bayley, I love you, but you're nuts!"

Lockdown Day 11 - Family First

I didn't post last night. I was busy later into the evening than I usually am. I was watching a movie with my family. On a Monday night. I know!

I usually have a very strict weekly routine. I justify that by saying that I need to to survive. And in a way, I guess I do, although more for comfort than to continue to live. I like to get Monday off to a good start because it sets the tone for the week, so usually, the stakes - and my OCD - are high. But yesterday, I don't know, I think I just didn't think about it. Perhaps being four Mondays into homeschooling and being in some state of isolation I finally realised that we aren't going anywhere, and neither is the work, and for now, maybe we all just need to be a little kinder to ourselves.

Anyway, whatever started it, it continued throughout the day. Andel went to work while I was home doing the schoolwork for the day with the kids. They didn't do the exercise program we had planned, but they chose one they like, and they did it with gusto. The did bits and pieces of the prescribed work, and there were no real tantrums about it. They even all napped, together, for two hours (can I hear a hallelujah?). And so last evening, we watched a family movie with them before bed - all five of us on one couch.

Today's lesson: I have always put my family at the top of list of priorities. Perhaps, though, my attempts at running a tight ship, always with the intention of doing what is best for them, have sometimes sucked the life and joy out of being together. We all need days like yesterday to remind us of what it's really all about...

Lockdown Day 9 & 10 - Pause

While taking some time out this weekend, I thought perhaps it would be a nice time to catch up on what's happening outside of the lockdown. Grab a cup of something warm as we pause together.


I'm thinking about... COVID-19, I mean, aren't we all? I'm thinking about how it has literally forced the entire world into an unexpected and indefinite pause. No one knows when this lockdown life will end, and if / when it does, what will the new normal even look like? One of my thoughts around this that may be a little different to yours is just how peaceful I am about this all. And if you know me (or have read enough blog entries) you'll know I'm usually more prone to angst than peace. I think it is, in part, due to the fast from social media that I've been on the last couple weeks. It certainly helps to not have the panic popping up on all my newsfeeds. More than that though, I think this experience is making God, and His presence in our lives, more real than anything else has. I know that the peace we all feel in our home is something on He could give us.

I'm watching... more tv than I ever thought imaginable. Isn't it crazy how just being at home more - even if you have to work - means that you don't have to be as strict with a weekday routine (or is that just me?). Andel and I have basically finished Messiah (1), NCIS (17), The Good Doctor (3), Drive to Survive (1 and 2), and local miniseries The Girl from St. Agnes over the two months. They are all so good, and come highly recommended. We've just started Transplant, another medical drama (I can't escape them), and have recently taken a liking to local Afrikaans feature films. There's something about the Afrikaans culture that is so inviting. I don't know what it is, but I am loving these movies!

I'm listening to... the playlist we created to encourage ourselves and others during these troubled times. It's called Songs of Hope, and can be found on Spotify. It's a compilation of mostly worship songs, dating from as far back as the 90s to now; Word-based, faith-building, hope-giving reminders of God's promises, faithfulness and sovereignty. It's the soundtrack of our lives right now, and I'm loving sharing it with my family.

I'm loving... the cooler weather! Man, it's been hot in Cape Town for what feels like forever. Even last week, it was still in the high twenties. Then it rained today, and it was bliss! I'm more of a Winter person anyway, so I welcome the change in season. And the fact that I don't have to chase the mosquitoes out of the room every night is a bonus!

I'm busy... doing my Masters (have I mentioned that?). I registered last year in April, and I thought I would be done by now. Joke's on me though. I have had zero time and only marginally more discipline, and to be honest, my priorities have changed a lot since then. Anyway, it's still important that I get it done, and I actually submitted something this past week, so I'm already a lot further than I was before. I guess the trick is to keep this up. I won't lie: it helps being at home, and having Andel here to help. I have three years to get it done, but I'd rather not wait until then if possible, thanks.

I'm going to... start doing some DIY decorating. I think I've wanted to do this for a while, but perhaps I haven't had the headspace or money to do it. I still don't have the money, but I was in a phase of playing Design Home almost daily, and I've picked up a few tips. I'll probably only tackle this in the next school holiday, and I'll be sure to document my projects on here. If nothing else, it should be a heck of a laugh.

I'm battling with... the start of some cabin fever. Who would have thought, right? I'm such a homebody, I really didn't think I would be the one struggling with this 10 days in, but I think it's the freedom I miss. I haven't really been going to the grocery stores thanks mostly to the schlep of it all, and I've really been craving some fresh air and a walk through the Green Belt. After all, you don't live in Cape Town to stay indoors all the time. We have, at least, another nearly-two-weeks of this, so I'm not sure how far downhill this is going to go.

I'm resolving to... learn from the lockdown process. As a good friend of mine put it, "the lockdown has already taught me that I spend my money on k*k". I miss being outside, and having the convenience of getting things as I need them, but we sure have learnt to live with less. As a household we are getting to know each other better. As friends and family, we are connecting more intentionally. As individuals we are learning discipline in our workspaces, balance in our private lives, and compassion in our dealings with others. God has certainly got the world's attention; all we have to do now is turn to Him and listen.

Lockdown Day 8 - Time Out

The dictionary defines "time out" in the following ways:
1. Time for rest or recreation away from one's usual work or studies.
2. A brief break in play in a game or sport.
3. A brief period of time during which a misbehaving child is put own their own so that they can regain control of their emotions.
4. A cancellation or cessation that automatically occurs when a predefined interval of time has passed without a certain event occurring.

We are in need of a time out here, for all of the above reasons!

As mentioned yesterday, we hardly notice the difference between the week and the weekend anymore, and while that can be a good thing (think: not having to leave all the chores for Saturday), it can also become a bad thing (think: working every day, because you can). This weekend, I'm going to take a time out. After I've prepared my lessons for Monday. Ok, so I'll take a timeout on Sunday.

The kids are in need of a timeout as well. In our "normal" life, they don't watch tv or movies, or have screen time, at all during the week. It's a treat that they earn for the weekend. But when a lot of their educational activities are web-based, that's hard to control. Our of sheer desperation today I banned the tv (how else do you give consequences when there are not that many nice things to take away anymore?). It was a little weird, I admit, but for the first time in a while, I heard the kids fully engaged with each other, and using their imagination. I heard Sam and Bayley play a proper game of "I Spy". I also heard Zac playing with his cars, on his own in his room, with the greatest Formula 1 commentary to match. It reminded me that it can - and must - be done.

On the whole, we've timed out on this week already, and in the spirit of giving ourselves a break, and adjusting to this way of life as opposed to enduring it temporarily, I think we have earned it.

Lockdown Day 6 & 7 - Exhaustion

We are one week (and one-third) into our official (initial) lockdown in South Africa, and I am exhausted. Working / teaching / parenting from home has made one day blur into the next into a never-ending workweek. Despite saving time by not having to commute or do other activities outside of the house, I seem to have filled my day even more than before. It's more difficult to erect boundaries, and I find myself busy nearly all of the time. I doubt I am alone.

Just yesterday, a colleague of mine sent me this great article from The Chronicle. It takes a poignant look at the 'Corona-Inspired Productivity-Pressure', and the personal expense that comes with chasing that. Since then, I have had many more people send me this link. Either they know me very well, or I'm needing some divine intervention. The reality is that I'm tired. Physically, mentally, and emotionally, I am shattered. This morning I slept until 08h00 - and I never do that! When I'm not preparing myself for the day, I'm preparing my kids for their day, or my classes for their day, and at the end of the day, I'm just grateful I survived the day.

I'm a firm believer that there is blessing in this lockdown if we are wise enough to find it. I want to be one of those wise ones. I already know the time with my kids is an answer to many months of prayer. This family time together is the first that Andel has been home and has not had to be responsible for what is going on at work. Despite the physical distance, people are joining together. People are starting to dream, and plan. Hey, I may even be able to get going on my Masters... But first: a good night's sleep!