Pause

It has been a month since I last posted. To say that things have been busy would be a gross understatement, and to document it all, would definitely take more than one post. So for today I'm going to settle on a pause post - just to catch up.


I'm thinking about... the role and responsibility of the believer in the midst of this pandemic. There is so much negativity; I know we have to introduce the world to our Living Hope. But how? In the time of unreliable governments, corrupt public officials, unfair decisions that affect the very livelihood of people - it's difficult to see that Hope. And the favour of the Lord isn't fair either, so how do you explain that? I'm really trying to seek the Lord in wisdom so that I can honour our authorities and be moved to pray for them so that they can make good decisions on behalf of us all, and still call them out on their injustices until something happens. Easier said than done, I know.

I'm watching... Pokemon. I'm not kidding. And not by choice! I have not really been able to sit down to watch anything, and in order to get my own things done, I may or may not have allocated my kids a little more than two hours of screen time per day. Their viewing choice has focused mainly on this one franchise. And it's as though it's a comprehension exercise because, following each episode there is a post mortem of all the details. And heaven help me if I don't know the different between Lycanroc, Incineroar and Pichachu! I still don't get most of it, but if it's going to make my kids happy, I guess it's a small price to pay?

I'm listening to... (still) our Songs of Hope playlist on Spotify. It's on repeat, and it's setting the tone in our home for us to be expectant for God's hand to move in our situation. We are adding to it all the time, so at least there's a change in the rotation. I am also quite enjoying listening to my children's voices as they sing along (and keep singing long after the music has stopped). What a sweet, sweet sound it must be to the ears of Jesus.

I'm loving... cutting Zac's hair. For eight years, I didn't touch it. I was too afraid that I would wreck it completely, that I just forked out the money to have it cut to school regulation standards (until those regulations were changed, hallelujah!). During lockdown though, there wasn't anyone to cut Zac's hair, and after three months, when we were no longer able to see Zac's face, I took matters into my own hands. I started off really conservatively, and it wasn't great; but it was ok - enough to give me the confidence to try it again last week. And I'm pleased to say that I'm getting better! No chance I'm tackling Sam's hair though...

I'm busy... unpacking in our new home. Yes, we moved during lockdown (another post on that coming up soon). Who knew we could accumulate so much stuff?! And it's not all crap - a lot of it is stuff we actually need, use, and look after. Thank the Lord I am on a school break, because I have needed a week of whole days to get some functional home space set up here, and I'm still not done! I look forward to being able to fully call this place "home" soon.

I'm going to... start gardening. Sam has some serious green fingers, and I like things to be fresh, so I'm thinking of going with some herbs, and fruit and vegetables for now. This is something that I shouldn't be able to mess up - but you'd be surprised! If any of you have tips and tricks regarding how best to do this (we don't have much in terms of garden with soil and such, so I think we're going to go the planter-box route), please do share!

I'm battling with... being a good mom. It's a broad statement, I know, so let me qualify it. I was homeschooling the kids for 16 weeks before Zac (the first to go back) returned to school. A week later Bayley started school. Sam is home for another two weeks still. I have seen them in and out of every day, and somewhere between the familiarity of all that, we have gotten on each other's nerves. All to that the stress of everything that accompanies lockdown, and I have not been very patient with them. In fact, the gratitude I felt at having the opportunity to spend more time at home and with them has been overshadowed by the number of times I have shouted, retreated in defeat, not had the energy to play or engage, or just been unpleasant to be around. I really need to find a better, more consistent way to have my words and action mirror the love, care, and enjoyment that I feel for my kids in my heart.

I'm resolving to... get into a healthy routine. With me going back to on campus, in contact work next week, I can't still be living in my lockdown / virtual learning mode. Also, I don't think moms have ever felt more stressed and torn in the tug o' war between work and family like we do during this pandemic. I need to set up some structure that will allow me to take care of my physical, mental, and emotional health, while still getting around to doing everything that need to be done, well.