They warned us about the second week. How it would be harder. How the excitement and novelty of everything would begin to wear off, and reality begin to set in. We were waiting for a wobble - that didn’t come. Not from Zac, anyway. It seems he didn’t get that second week memo. In fact, if anything, he has become more independent. Even this week’s email was only a single sentence of, “Hope you’re having a good day,” followed by another so closely thereafter that I couldn’t even send my reply off in time that read “It’s going well. Need to go. Bye!"
Still we are navigating the space between getting on with things, and holding onto things. We are settling into a new normal at home, grateful to be doing better than we imagined, but still acutely aware that we - or Zac - could feel differently at any time. I realise that, more and more, we will start to see the gap Zac’s absence leaves - like in church today when he wasn’t there singing. This week was hard for reasons far removed from Zac, but I missed him more. And I missed him most when, in an anxiety-induced tirade brought on by too many work demands and too little sleep, he was not there to come to me with a quiet hug and say, “it’s ok, Mom”.
It is both exciting and excruciating to consider my boy already becoming a young man. If you can break habits and form lifestyles in 21 days, how much more can a child change? I guess we’ll find out on the weekend - assuming of course that he can muster more than thirteen words.
He's happy!
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