Monday, 23 April 2018

Pause

In an attempt to stay abreast of my blogging goals - and because I haven't one a post like this in a while - here's what's going on in my space currently:

I'm thinking about... the changes that are going to take place over the next few months. For one, I recently resigned from my job, and am taking up a new post elsewhere. It's been one of the toughest professional decisions I've ever had to make. I really have loved the environment, staff and team I work in/with, and I'm going to miss it terribly. I do think though, that the time is right for a move. Of course, this inevitably leads to a number of other subsequent changes - but I'm trying not to dwell on that yet; tomorrow has enough worries of its own, right?



I'm watching... The Good Doctor. It's in its first season both locally and abroad, and based on a South Korean programme, I believe. It follows the personal and professional journey of a first year surgical resident who happens to have Austism and Savant Syndrome. I'm a bit of a sucker for medical drama anyway, however, it's really Freddie Highmore's exceptional performance as Dr Sean Murphy that has me eagerly awaiting each episode.



I'm listening to... mash ups, mostly. Zac has this new thing where he combines - mid singing - different songs, with pretty impressive skill (and melodic process), I might add. I also have two ear-worms at the moment: So Will I (off Hillsong's There is More album) and Reckless Love (by Cory Asbury).





I'm loving... the relief from the unrelenting heat that we have been experiencing of late. It rained a bit last week, and then today all day. Cape Town desperately needs so much rain, I'm thankful even though it's a logistical nightmare at work. I much prefer Winter anyway, and it's a real treat being able to lay in bed at night with my tea, chocolate and babies.





I'm busy... among other things, I'm trying to get my kids' passports renewed. At this point I've completed the online applications (and paid for them), but I have yet to make that painful trip to the government facility to submit their bio-metric data. I fear it's going to take all day. There may be a separate blog post on that experience.




I'm going to... Mothers Day Connect again this year. It's a wonderful initiative by Embrace to serve and support moms in hospital on Mother's Day. In groups we spend an hour with these moms sharing experiences, giving encouragement, and just letting them know that they are part of a wider village of women looking out for the welfare of moms and children. For more information on this in your area, please visit www.embrace.org.za and sign up.



I'm battling with... what I think is a tummy bug. I know there's been a terrible one doing the rounds, I'm just not sure that it's that. I basically woke up feeling pretty lousy - belly aches, lack of appetite, toilet runs. Great for weight-loss! Not so great for everything else. I really hope it's one of those 24hour jobs.



I'm resolving to... enjoy the weekend. Thursday evening marks the start of a 5-day-long weekend for us, and instead of using it to catch up on work or clean the house (as I feel I need to do), I'm going to enjoy it with Andel and the kids. It would be nice to go away, but even if we don't (can't), I'm going to be deliberate with my time and choices, and focus on making good memories together.

Friday, 13 April 2018

Mother Luck!

Did I ever write about the time in my life that I thought I would never have children?

Basically, growing up, I was not the obviously girly and maternal type. Despite having many younger siblings, cousins and friends that I was left to supervise or babysit, mothering didn't seem to come easily or naturally to me. As a result, it was a well known joke in our extended family that I would likely send my kids - assuming I would be having any - to boarding school. Even though I knew it was that - a joke - there were many years it bothered me, and for a good couple years I figured I therefore probably wouldn't have any children.

Look at me now.

Granted, compared to the rest of the family, I began a bit late, giving birth to Zac just before I turned 29, I certainly haven't wasted any time since then, popping out two more in the subsequent five years. And perhaps in a parallel world, there would be room for one more. I think it's safe to say: this once disinclined-mother has become determined-mother #1.

I don't know if it's just having had three kids now, if it was the context around Bayley's conception, development and birth, but it's (only) now that I realise how much of being a mom is not just what I do, but who I am. And I wouldn't change it for the world. I was saying just the other day: if it were not for the fact that I need to work, I would gladly build a life around caring for and spending time with my kids.


My dear Peanut, Cooks and Bug, 
You will never know just how much I love you; how your mere existence has changed my life in ways I will never really understand or have any desire to ever undo. You are all beautifully imperfect and immeasurably precious, and you each have individual qualities purposed exactly for my teaching and development and refining. I am blown away by your unique designs, and how even though you are so different to each other, you are all the ideal fit for me. How amazing it is that when God created each one of you, He was thinking about me...

We won't always be as in sync and in love as we (mostly) feel right now. You will grow up, I will get old; and believe it or not, you will not fight each other for space next to me in the bed forever! We will disagree and clash heads many times along this path. But this you can hold onto, regardless of whatever storm we are weathering against or alongside each other: 
being entrusted with the immense privilege of raising you three is the greatest gift and blessing, 
and for all time you will have my whole heart!

Love Mom x