It wasn't intentional. Or maybe it was, subconsciously. I don't know. But before now, the opportunity, preparation and desire just didn't meet at the same time. Either someone (usually Ash) would invite him and he wouldn't want to stay, or we would hint furiously (usually to Papu and Yaya) and they wouldn't bite. So, it just happened that the only time I was separated from Zac overnight was when I was in hospital giving birth to Sam, and one night Andel stayed in hospital with Zac when Sam was a baby.
This time, it all seemed to fall into place: my parents' church was having an overnight camp out in their gardens, and the bigger grandkids were invited. At first I didn't say anything. I wasn't sure what Zac's take on it all would be, and I wanted him to be able to decide for himself. But Zac was super excited, and as it got closer to the weekend, all I was hearing about was this camp out. Yesterday morning, before I even opened my eyes and got up for school, Zac had packed his overnight bag.
So this is what you all want to know, I know:
Was I sad? No, actually.
Did I miss Zac? Not longingly, no.
Did I check up on him a hundred times? No (but I was glad to get some photos this morning to post on the blog).
Actually, Andel and I went for a quick dinner with Sam, and then had an early night. And now Andel is at work, and Sam, who is my date for breakfast at the camp out this morning, is back fast asleep, so I actually have an opportunity to blog! (Hallelujah!)
So what took us so long?
I must say, I did look at others who easily left their kids with friends and relatives from a young age, and sometimes wondered why I wasn't as quick to do the same. I also envied what I imagined must be joyous freedom of time and space (and the chance to go to the toilet uninterrupted) when not waking up to the 05h30, "Mommy, can you make me breakfast now". But I think I've realised, for me (please, I am not criticising anyone else's position or decisions - they all carry a cost), a lot of my parenting ideology includes having my children, when they are able and it is appropriate for them to, have a say in when they want to do things. It is not my natural bent, but has given me much peace, and I am grateful for that.
|Rise and Shine!|
|Cereal Time - Camp Style|