Lockdown Day 5 - Through the Eyes of a Child

I'm currently employed as an educator in an International School. What this means in the time of lockdown is that I am still teaching, via a virtual learning plan. As a parent, it means I am also loosely homeschooling my three kids with the help of online resources. Here are a few things I learnt today about how the kids - my school ones and my biological ones - are dealing with all of this.

This morning Sam, my newly five-year-old, had his first class interaction online. He was thoroughly overwhelmed. Andel was at the helm while I was helping Zac with his grade 3 work revision, and Sam vacillated between saying absolutely nothing, and throwing one of those tantrums I wrote about yesterday. Apparently Sam thought he was just going to be meeting up with his best friend; he didn't expect to see 12 other faces on a screen, including his teacher's.

Not long after that, I had an online "face-to-face" session with my kids. My first question to them was to find out how they were coping. Keep in mind, some of these kids are oversees either having vacated South Africa very quickly (like pack up your life in three days, kind of quickly), or having been away over our mid-semester break, and not being able to return. Some of them are exhausted from travel, relocation, and insane contact hours to maintain their South African school schedule. Some of them are sleeping in during our online sessions that range anywhere from local 08h00 to 15h00. Many of them, especially the older ones, are swamped with work and anxiety. All of them are missing interaction with their peers, and mourning the many activities they were looking forward to this term that are probably never going to happen for them. A few of them just didn't pitch up.

Interestingly enough, I also had a staff meeting today where these things were discussed, and upon reflection I have these thoughts:

* All of us who are working from home are feeling the pressure of needing to do more than we usually do. For the kids it's about needing to keep up; for the adults about needing to justify the wage we trust is still coming.

* The misconception about working from home and studying online is that there is an infinite about of time to do things. While I guess I can understand the logic of that in theory. In reality though, if everyone is expecting more that usual based on this, the net result is less time, not more.

* Connected to this: there are no office hours for online work. The day blurs into the night, and the week blurs into the weekend, instead of being more relaxed, we become more stressed.

* Suddenly the pastoral role of the teacher is almost greater than that of subject expert or master facilitator. In my 14 years of teaching I don't think I've had more meaningful influence that I have right now, and if I don't set healthy boundaries - for myself, my classes and my children - we will burn out before this lockdown is over.

Over and out. It's time an early night, I think.

Lockdown Day 4 - Birthdays

Birthdays. What have we made them? When did it become to important to have guests, and cake, and gifts?

In our family we have had three birthdays in two days in our family, and still have another to come on Wednesday. Under normal circumstances, this would be a very busy week. Two of the birthdays are on my husband's side, so it would involve traveling out of town, and then coming back for the other two. We eat way too much of what we probably shouldn't have, and spend a lot of money that we sometimes don't have. Don't get me wrong: we don't do any of this unwillingly; it just seems a little crazy now. All because, this year, there was none of that.

Being in lockdown means that my father-in-law's 70th birthday party that should have happened the past weekend did not happen. We were all pretty disappointed. He is the first member of his family to live that long, and his life is something to be celebrated. Everything that been planned and booked and prepared, and then had to be cancelled - but you know what? We decided to have a little pre-birthday dinner with the family last Wednesday, and then yesterday my mother-in-law prepared a beautiful breakfast spread for him on their patio. It looked like they could have been at a fancy hotel. It was perfect.

Today was Sam's birthday. He realised only yesterday that he would not be having a party. To be honest, he probably didn't realise right then that he would not be getting a present either (his request was a hamster, and that is not something you can hide in the house for a week before). He only turned five, so I wasn't expecting it to go as smoothly as it did with my father-in-law, but you know what? He started his day with a birthday cake and card, then his classmates and friends all sent him the most amazing video messages, and we ended the day with an international family Zoom chat - all of which totally made his day.

Today's lockdown lesson is that the most valuable thing you can give someone else is your presence. Gifts are great, but they aren't the goal. I, for one, managed to make a successful cake (with homemade dulce de leche topping), had zero stress, and fully engaged with my birthday boy the entire day. I'm not really a birthday person myself, but I could get used to this.

Sam: My Favourite Five

No one could have guessed that this year Sam would be spending his birthday in lockdown, and when the realisation eventually dawned on him yesterday, he was bitterly disappointed that no one would be able to celebrate with him. I know this post and my lastminute.com cake is not going to do much to make up for it, still, I wouldn't let this day go by without a special celebration focusing on just five of the many things I love about our new five-year-old.


1. Selfless
Look, no one is entirely selfless, still, at his core, Sam is all about everyone else. He is the sweetest little boy who will, without prompting, come to me when I'm feeling ill, rest the back of his hand on my head, and say, "you rest Mama, I'll look after you". He shares everything with his siblings. I'm not kidding. And will even sacrifice his beloved Blankey to cover his sister if she is cold. Listen, the fact that he will bowl to Zac for hours on end is already medal-worthy, in my opinion.

2. Sensitive
Like his dad, despite a big physical presence, Sam is a softie. He is kind and considerate - like he'll design a birdhouse with two floors - one closed, the other open, so that they can decide where they want to be. This past Summer when Australia had those devastating fires, he would cry as he prayed for the protection of the people and animals in the affected areas, and wake every morning asking if the fires had been put out yet. He cares greatly for his friends, hates seeing people get hurt, and loves a good cuddle. He feels everything deeply - from a good belly laugh to an earth-trembling tantrum.

3. Stout
Stout is the Afrikaans word for naughty, and boy, if Sam wants to be he can be helluva naughty! That tantrum I mentioned comes with an impressive roar and a serious sulk. But it doesn't last long. Sam is pretty quick to say sorry, and most of the trouble he lands himself in stems from his sense of adventure and mischief. Lately these things have included smashing guavas (from our neighbour's tree) into our walls, teaching Bayley to urinate in the yard, and creating flavoured water by adding twigs and other greenery to ours.

4. Spiritual
Sam really loves the Lord. I thought he'd be too young to really understand much about our faith, but Jesus wasn't kidding when He said we need to be like kids to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Not too long ago, he and Zac were asking me about Father Christmas, and how you can know whether or not he is real. In conversation, I asked, "How do you know God is real?". Both boys were confident, "That's obvious! He hears us when we pray. Look at all the things He's made and done". Most recently Sam has also taken to wanting to sing in my band at church. I discouraged this for a while thinking it may be seen as a distraction - or my family overthrowing the other band members - but I have seen my boy worship, and He does it in spirit and in truth, with his whole heart.

5. Surprising
I think the most encompassing thing about Sam is that he never ceases to surprise us, in the most amazing ways. I remember when, at his first birthday, he still wasn't speaking much, and then, a couple weeks later, he just started chatting away in these full sentences, like it was there all along. And that's pretty much how he lives his life - along his own path, according to his own schedule. And that has been his greatest gift to me; to get me to slow down, and enjoy things like he does. I have seen him develop into this talented artist, hard-working sportsman, creative designer, and resilient worker. I can't even begin to imagine what he'll show us next.

This past year has come with its challenges, the biggest being Sam having to get specs to try to save his eyesight. God has been so gracious to him, and Sam has taken everything in his stride, with that megawatt smile on his face. I am so grateful for the gift Sam is to me, and to our family.

We love you so much, Super Sam! Happy birthday, big boy!

Lockdown Day 3 - Kitchen Things

Do you know what has bothered me most about this lockdown so far? Cooking. I'm not the world's top kitchen queen, and would far rather decorate a cake or plate a meal than actually make it, so this idea of having to make multiple meals a day, 7 days a week is taking its toll. There's no relief of a ready-made meal (those are always sold out by the time I get online) or the luxury of someone else making the food for me. Not only am I running out of food; I'm running out of ideas too.

Add to that the fact that it is Sam's 5th birthday tomorrow. It's panic stations here. Of course, we aren't going to have anyone coming around, so you would think that I am off the hook, so to speak - but since when has a five-year-old cancelled a party? No, my Sam had his heart set on a Pikachu cake. I searched and searched for something I thought I may be able to pull off. I found a 3-ingredient sponge cake recipe, and I was just about to make the icing when Sam remembered that he, like his brother and father, hated icing. His solution: I was going to have to eat all the icing off the cake before they ate it. It was a hard no from me.

The cake Sam actually wanted

Eventually, Sam settled on an alternative: cake with caramel. Of course, I had no caramel.

Thank the Lord for the internet and the copious amount of Bigger Bolder Baking I have had to watch with the boys over the years. There I found a caramel recipe, and quickly decided that was not something I was going to try under lockdown conditions. Fortunately, on that same page was a link to Homemade Dulce de Leche, which is even yummier than caramel, and so I spent my evening (seriously, it takes over 2hrs to make) doing that.

So here's another thing lockdown has brought me: I have been forced to make do with what I have at my disposal, including my seemingly limited skill. And the funny thing is, when you know there are no other options, your effort often exceeds your expectation.

Of course, we haven't actually had the cake yet. I'll let you know tomorrow how it really turned out.

Lockdown Day 2 - What Saturdays are Made Of

Lockdown is what Saturdays are made for!

Today, for the first time in at least eight years, it was Saturday, and I did absolutely nothing. Of course, it helps when you can't actually go anywhere to do anything else. Still, it was pretty heavenly. I slept it, did some stretch with Andel, had bunch at 12h00, took a two-hour nap, and watched series in bed. It made me realise that for the longest time, I have been using Saturdays to catch up on things that I feel I have missed out on during the week. This has ranged from simply being able to break from routine and get out of the house, to catching up on all the household responsibilities that we require to be in place to function from Monday to Friday. In short, I have been living for a weekend to prepare for the week, and really, that's not living at all.

So even though it's only Day 2, already I see immense benefit this forced shutdown is bringing to my toxic way of life. I have missed this feeling of relaxation and cheerful productivity. I see more and more how this experience can be the start of something brand new and healthy for people and families all over the world, beginning with me.

Lockdown Day 1 - Into the Trenches

When approaching a 21-day home isolation with your family, what would you rather have: a good day, getting off to a positive start, while knowing that things are not always going to be that good, or would you rather a not-so-good day, knowing that things can only get better?

This was my question to myself last night. It's easy to build up the unknown into something negative. After all, that's what we've coming to expect right? I thought back to the times that I could not manage my kids for an hour, and calculated dismal chances of survival during this lockdown. Then I thought about the fact that I've already been home with them two weeks, so maybe (hopefully) we would already be in a routine that would not be too difficult to stick to. Turns out, it's a bit of both.

Today was another normal homeschooling day, except that Andel was here. If you know Andel, you know that he is not a morning person (not for non-cycling things, anyway), and when I woke him at 07h30 to say he should get up and dressed so not be late for his first day, he was not impressed. I'm not kidding: it took a home workout and two cups of coffee in an hour for him to perk up. School time was interesting. I likened it to the first day having a student teacher or substitute shadowing you. You know they can do it, but they're reluctant to take initiative at first. Of course, Andel is good with the kids, and they love having him home - he's their dad after all. Not much work got done though. So I laughed when, at nap time, Andel said, "I really think we've done a good job today. They're all sleeping. It's been productive. Now I'm going to relax." I had to remind him that we were only half way through the day and the workload. He nearly passed out.

Thankfully tomorrow is the weekend, and I am looking forward to it. We have been intentional about making this time about being together, and doing things that often we swap out for things away from home that we feel are more interesting, or that we don't want to miss out on. I, for one, cannot wait to sleep in good and proper tomorrow morning. There'll be no cricket matches, no appointments, no grocery shopping, no playdates or parties... I feel more relaxed already!

So there's day one, done and dusted. Another 20 more (at least) to go.

A makeshift multi-grade classroom at the dining table

ps. I fell asleep before I could order my groceries last night. Fortunately my alarm still goes off after 06h00, so I had my order in before 07h00, and delivered to my front door by 11h00. For all the locals who do their shopping at Checkers, download their Sixty60 app, and try it out. Delivery is free!

Lockdown

The past three weeks have been incredible. One minute I was at work, discussing the probability to COVID-19 coming to South Africa, and in seemingly the next, I am heading to bed after my last permissible day outside, with the local infection number sitting close to 1000.

Three days ago the President of South Africa issued a national lockdown beginning at midnight tonight for 21-days, to combat the rapid spread of the virus. I think deep down, everyone knows it the right move. Still, I don't think anyone of this generation can imagine what's to come.

And perhaps that is why I'm going to record each day on this platform. The novelty, coupled with the fact that I am on a social media fast, should gain some interesting perspectives, especially since being locked down without Facebook and Twitter (those are the only ones I use - I'm over 35 so it shouldn't come as a surprise) I genuinely don't know what's going on outside of our space.

Speaking of which... Here are, in an entirely random non-order, some of my immediate thoughts:

- Our home is pretty small. It's never bothered us; we've always just wanted a proper yard. I have a feeling it's going to get even smaller.
- I have already been home with all three kids for nearly two weeks after the abrupt school closure just before the scheduled holiday. Up until now I've been able to take them outside daily.
- Andel has been working so tomorrow will be his first day at home with us.
- The three biggest things I'm juggling right now is: homeschooling the kids, teaching my classes online, and trying to stay up to date on my own studies. I have never felt more insane.
- For kids who know quite a bit about Corona Virus, mine are pretty unfazed by its proximity to us. While they diligently wash their hands, and try (sometimes not so successfully) not to touch things, they are not afraid. Zac is more concerned that I am not shopping like everyone else.
- Our home is incredibly peaceful, and there is a real expectation during this waiting. Let's hope it's still there tomorrow.

Wishing you all good health, and safety during this time. I'm off to try get my grocery order in when it opens at 00h00.