Covid Chronicles

 When I thought about how we'd spend this holiday season as a family, making memories, soaking up the last bit of being together, I did not consider that we could be housebound, isolating - and yet, here we are. 

Andel felt ill first, but tested negative on Friday, and was wearing his mask everywhere - including in bed at night. Then on Saturday afternoon, after feeling fine all day, Zac suddenly started complaining of headaches, and later ran a fever. We tested him, and got the positive result not long after. Resigned to the fact that we would all have to isolate - or at least quarantine - we cancelled Christmas plans (for the second year running), and tried to separate Zac from everyone else. Since then though, a few more of us have joined the pandemic party. 

I guess it was inevitable. Just prior to Zac feeling ill, he and I had taken a drive and gotten some ice cream for our monthly date. Sunday morning I was still ok, but by lunch time I was overcome with debilitating body aches, and nonstop sneezing and nose blowing. Then yesterday Sam, who usually shares a room with Zac, started coughing and complaining about a tummy ache, and this morning began throwing up. So far Bayley remains unaffected. The jury is still out on whether she would require more of our energy and attention healthy or sick.

On this, Day 4 of isolation, here are a couple things we have learnt already:

* Covid sucks. Even though it's likely that we have the kinder Omicron variant, we have still felt pretty sick. There is no guarantee that you will have "mild, flu-like symptoms that disappear after a day", and I hate that people have used that very phrase to downplay what people are going through, or justify irresponsible behaviour.

* You can be so careful, and still become infected. We don't know where we got it from. We did not have close contact with any positive case, and have purposefully opted to stay home to avoid being sick.

* You can be how sick, when your kids are ill, they come first. I have never experienced incessant pain like I have the last couple days, but I would gladly take it if it means that my kids don't have to.

* There is always a silver lining; something to be thankful for. Had Zac become infected while at school, I think we would have been freaking out. Knowing that he's had it here, with us, and been ok, is very comforting. 

* This is the second year running that we not having a "traditional" family Christmas. Last year my parents were very sick with Covid, and we ended up doing our family celebration mid January. The first Christmas was pretty simple, and I feel like we are being reminded of that, even now. Who knows: it may become a new tradition for us. 

So for the next week at least, we try to heal and get some much needed rest. There is, after all, wisdom and peace in surrender.

Jireh

 Earlier this week I sat over my spreadsheet of things we need to get for Zac. Of course, this spreadsheet came into existence pretty soon after we made the decision for Zac to go - and the list is pretty extensive: DBCS branded uniform, other uniform, boarding requirements, academics requirements, general requirements. It's also very specific. And expensive. The plan was to wait for Black Friday to make as many purchases at reduced rates as possible. As it happened though, there weren't really any specials for the things I needed, and I'll admit: I felt defeated.

But that's how God works sometimes. He wants us to rely solely and fully on Him. He wants us to compare our spreadsheets with our bank balances and wonder how the heck they will ever add up. He wants us to realise how powerless we are. And then He shows us how powerful He is. 

Jehovah Jireh means "the Lord will provide". It's one of the most popular names for God. Earlier this year, Elevation Worship and Maverick City released a song titled, Jireh. There is a looped bridge in the song that goes something like this:

If you've followed the posts in this blog for a while, you'll know: Jesus loves Zac. I don't mean that He doesn't love anyone else or as much; I'm just saying, He has shown up for Zac one testimony after the next. This time is no different. Daily I am getting calls and messages from friends and family asking what they can contribute to help. I also got an email from one of Zac's current teachers, knowing that he needed to purchase something for an end of term event - and she offered to pay for it. And then a parent already with a boy in DBCS contacted me and offered me some clothing at a fraction of the price. I even got a bonus payout from my insurer!

This is no joke: this journey is stressful on every level. We still have a long way to go with many more things to pay. But God is in it, and He is living up to His name - Jireh.

Strength for Today

 It's amazing the things God whispers to us when we call out to Him and then listen. Since my early childhood, my life has been flooded with songs and hymns of praise and worship. I visit these melodies and words of truth often. Many times I hear my grandfather's voice, singing in my head...

As the magnitude of Zac's departure dawned on me this week, I reached out to my village of warrior women who pray with and for me. I had questions: How can I already feel so weak and tired? How am I going to get through the six weeks before our separation - and then the three weeks of radio silence, and another seven weeks of distance after that? 

As the news spread, so many people, each in their own unique way, sent me something that I need to hear. And then the song began in my head:

Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow

Blessings all mine with then thousand beside

Great is Thy faithfulness

Great is Thy faithfulness

Morning by morning new mercies I see

All I have needed Thy hand has provided

Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me

And there it is: the answer. 

We'll get through it one moment at a time, 

one message at a time,

one hug at a time, 

one promise at a time,

underpinned by prayer,

with strength for today, 

and hope for tomorrow.

As my Gramps and Gran Geduld would have sung it

Six Weeks

December has just started, and despite my resolve and strength over the last six months, I'm beginning to feel the cracks appear. Many of you probably won't know: Zac has been given the amazing opportunity to attend the Drakensberg Boys Choir School from January 2022. It's the second time he's been offered a place. Two years ago we declined an offer because it simply was not something we could afford. We still can't. But this time he's been given a scholarship, and he's keen, so we're giving it a go. 

For months, those in the know have asked me if we're crazy, and how we are coping - and somehow it's always been the truth to answer that we feel it's the right thing. God has granted us an incredible peace about how things have worked out, and challenged us to trust Him with Zac's life. Last night though, I lay in bed going through pictures of the kids, and asked Andel, "are we brave or insane?". His answer to me: "probably a little bit of both". 

Zac is 9 years and 6 months old, and in six weeks' time we will be driving into the Midlands (1500km away) to drop him off at his new school. It seems like the emotions have caught up with all of us. In the last week Zac has come to cuddle in my bed, sit on my lap on the swing, held my hand as we walked around the block. And while he is not afraid, he is realising - as am I - that this is going to be hard. The closeness of our family unit has been amplified since Covid, and the separation is going to hurt.  

The holidays will be bitter-sweet as we try to make the most of this time together, while preparing to say goodbye. We look forward to it all the same. So to keep track of the memories we make, and pour out everything this mama heart can't handle, I'm probably going to flood the pages here. I'm hoping it'll be therapeutic for me, and, looking back in years to come, bear testimony, once again, to God's goodness in our lives. 

Expect emotional posts and tears. Send prayers and wine.