Breaking Busy

I recently listened to an interview with author Alli Worthington about her book Breaking Busy: How to Find Peace and Purpose in a World of Crazy. As a relatively new mom of three, it was something that resonated with me long after the podcast had ended, because I could totally relate with everything she was saying: I know that I am way too busy, doing things that aren't all that important, and that take up too much of my time and energy, negatively influencing my health, my relationships and my productivity.

Perhaps you're in this space too and, like me, want to break the cycle before it breaks you. Here are some things I found useful:


Warning Signs
If you're finding that you're always busy, always doing things, constantly exhausted and in desperate need of a rest, although you're not quite sure when you're going to get a chance to do so, the odds are pretty good that you're overdoing it.

A good indicator for me is when my emotions are out of control - i.e. there's crying involved, impatient snapping and generally more moodiness. This is evidence to me that my expectations have gotten out of control as well. Also, I'm never late. I pride myself on that. So when I start running late, or just not getting around to doing what I must before I have to be somewhere, I'm pretty sure I have too many commitments.

When we don't take care of ourselves enough, it shows, and if we don't get it in the hints above it eventually knocks us down, literally, and we get ill. Recurrent illness, especially when we just can't get over it, is usually as a direct result of being burnt out.

Take Action
One of the things that was suggested was to, instead of making a "To Do" List to help you get through all the many things you need to get done, make a "Stop Doing" List to eliminate the unnecessary from your schedule. Ask yourself, "What are the two or three things that I’m doing now that I know in my gut I don’t want to do?" along with, "What is it God wants me to do (or not)?"

Another really useful thing is to set boundaries (in advance) around what is realistically possible to commit do. This may include limitations on how many extra murals the kids can do, or which class parties they're going to attend (because if that calendar is anything like my son's class' there's a party - or two - every weekend some months). By knowing in advance what you want to fill your time with, and what the capacity on each activity is, you'll be less likely to over commit.

Ask for help. Don't be afraid of admitting that things are hectic and you need assistance. Often people are willing to, but don't want to overstep without being given permission to do so.

Worrying leads to anxiety because of the spiral of negative thoughts and accompanying emotions. To turn the focus away from what you're bothered by, start to give yourself a truth talk, and replace whatever negative thoughts you have with truth from the Word - about who you are, and what you're meant to be doing, and how you're doing to deal with whatever it is staring you down.

  

Tools to Make Better Choices
Alli's Five Fs of decision making helps us to weigh our own thoughts and feelings against things that which either influence, or are influenced by, the outcome of our choices.

Faith – review your options in light of God, His word and with prayer

Family – be in agreement with your partner and consider the impact on your family

Future – think about how you may feel about things later on (10 minutes, 10 weeks, 10 months)

Fulfillment – consider your individual skills and talents, and whether or not they align with this

Friends – get the input from friends who have earned the trust and right to speak into your life on it

 

People, this is my goal: I want to be less busy (in general), and to change the focus of my productivity to those things that really matter (my faith, my health, my family) despite the 'cost' it may come at. I am pretty sure it's way less than the alternative.