For Better, For Worse

I think that I, along with many others, have spoken at length about how this lockdown life is affecting parents and children. Let's just spare a thought, though, for something I may have overlooked in all this: marriage.

I'd say I'm pretty fortunate to be in a really good marriage. It wasn't always this way, but with lots of work - and even more grace - we have made it a good space for both of us. I know it's not necessarily the norm though. I remember at the beginning of lockdown, all the social media memes that came out about husbands and wives divorcing during lockdown, or husbands finally having to do all the things their wives nag about, or women gaining an extra child to look after. I recall how Andel and I both said one night, "thank heaven we actually like each other". And thank heaven we do; this would be a very different experience otherwise!

Still, let's just be real for a second here, and admit that (unless you are newly married, or already forever married) this lockdown takes its toll on relationship. I think it's even worse when you're also parents of young kids, trying to manage their remote learning, and trying to hold onto some income by doing as much as you can from home - in Andel's case, while your work is closed. Despite the proximity, it's possible to spend even less time together. The mornings are later, the evenings come quicker, and the day is full. With rising anxiety and seemingly depleting wisdom (maybe that's just me) the ugly side comes out quickly and often (again, maybe that's just me), and it's easy to have your spouse bear the brunt of your frustration, mostly because they're the only other adult around.

Tonight, while your mind may well be filled with increasing uncertainty, and perhaps even diminishing hope, take a moment to acknowledge your spouse, and make an effort to connect with them. I'm pretty confident whatever you're feeling, they're feeling too. And I know it's both easier and better company to walk any challenging path together.

So Andel... I know this week has been manic, and we have lived more as roommates than soulmates. I know our respective work stress has taken up much of our time, and playing catch up to keep our children up to date on school work has forced us to divide to conquer. I want you to know that I love you, I appreciate you, and I am here with and for you. Together we are so much stronger than we are apart. There isn't anything this world can throw at us that, with God, we cannot overcome. This too shall pass. God remains sovereign and faithful, and we will see His glory in this, in our lifetime still. Thank you for all you are doing at home, with the kids, for me. 

For better, for worse, for ever.