Bayley Turns 1!

There is still something about first birthdays in particular that take you right back to where you were the year before. It's amazing the clarity with which I remember everything (except for the pain). I'm full of nostalgia thinking about missing a high school class reunion to meet my beautiful girl...


Dear Bayley, my almost one-year-old girl...

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that you - or anyone, really - could change my world the way you do.

Not many people know this: practically all my grown up life, I have been terrified of having a daughter. There are many reasons, but I suppose the dominant one was being afraid of and overwhelmed by the immense (self-inflicted) pressure of raising a young woman who fits somewhere between Proverbs 31 and the feminist movement.

In many ways, you weren't in my plans. But you were always God's plan for me. And I'm so very grateful for you. The journey of waiting that you took me on, from the moment I found out about you, to the moment - a week after your due date - when you were born, has left an indelible mark on my life that continues to impact me even now.

You are the most precious, loveliest little thing. You are full of joy; always smiling. You make everyone's day, every day, and your eyes dance as you unobstructively laugh from your belly. You are contented and secure; like you know who you are and don't waste your time needing anyone's approval for anything. You do things your own way in your own time (you always have), and you have enough chill for the both of us. And yet you're also strong, fearless and bold. Full of adventure and fun. You are both warrior and princess.

It is my prayer that you'll never lose this beautiful balance. You have been created in the image of the Father, for a time such as this, and you will know love, loyalty and life like no other in simple surrender and service to Christ. With Him you can change the world, Bug, and I have a feeling you will.

My darling girl, you will be doted on forever, and protected all your life. Your brothers will see to that. And you will never be without a friend in them. I look forward to all the adventures you'll embark on together.

Bayley Cate. My daughter. My constant reminder of God's faithfulness, His presence and His sovereignty. I never knew how much I missed you until you arrived. You are so, so loved.