A photo came up in my memories on Facebook this week. It was of Zac and Sam, and (the photo) was only a year old, but I hardly recognized the younger boy in the pic to be the same person as the boy in my home.
Sam started “big” school this week. At nearly four years old, he joins the Nursery class (equivalent to pre-reception), so this is the start of formal education for him. He has to wear a uniform, and even have Phys Ed lessons. It’s kind of a big deal.
And yet Sam’s response to this all has been remarkably mixed. On the one hand, he has recognized this as a significant milestone in his life, and has exuded excitement over it for at least a month. He could not stop smiling at himself in the mirror when he tried on his uniform, and eagerly packed his bag ready for the first day. But then, when we arrived at school on Monday, he walked in like he’d been doing school forever. He put his bag in his cubby, unpacked his lunch and water bottle to their designated places, and then split to the playground to play. No tears. No lingering hugs. No fuss at all.
On occasions like these I am always reminded of the paradox of parenting: how we strive to foster independence in our kids, while wanting to maintain their need for us, at least a little bit. How your heart can burst and bleed at once. It is also a reality check of how quickly time is going by. One minute we’re still cradling our babies in our arms, and the next, they’re graduating high school.
I compared the pictures of Sam, only a year apart, and saw two different people. Which is why, again, I am resolving to be more present with my kids. It’s something I’m beginning to say to myself every year – and I pray I continue to until they reach adulthood. Whatever phase(s) we find ourselves in, be it the early years of dribble and diapers, the tantrums and non-stop talking of toddlers, the school years that bring sulks, I mean, success and social changes – each season has a sweetness somewhere worth savouring.
💖They do grow up too quickly
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