Six Weeks

December has just started, and despite my resolve and strength over the last six months, I'm beginning to feel the cracks appear. Many of you probably won't know: Zac has been given the amazing opportunity to attend the Drakensberg Boys Choir School from January 2022. It's the second time he's been offered a place. Two years ago we declined an offer because it simply was not something we could afford. We still can't. But this time he's been given a scholarship, and he's keen, so we're giving it a go. 

For months, those in the know have asked me if we're crazy, and how we are coping - and somehow it's always been the truth to answer that we feel it's the right thing. God has granted us an incredible peace about how things have worked out, and challenged us to trust Him with Zac's life. Last night though, I lay in bed going through pictures of the kids, and asked Andel, "are we brave or insane?". His answer to me: "probably a little bit of both". 

Zac is 9 years and 6 months old, and in six weeks' time we will be driving into the Midlands (1500km away) to drop him off at his new school. It seems like the emotions have caught up with all of us. In the last week Zac has come to cuddle in my bed, sit on my lap on the swing, held my hand as we walked around the block. And while he is not afraid, he is realising - as am I - that this is going to be hard. The closeness of our family unit has been amplified since Covid, and the separation is going to hurt.  

The holidays will be bitter-sweet as we try to make the most of this time together, while preparing to say goodbye. We look forward to it all the same. So to keep track of the memories we make, and pour out everything this mama heart can't handle, I'm probably going to flood the pages here. I'm hoping it'll be therapeutic for me, and, looking back in years to come, bear testimony, once again, to God's goodness in our lives. 

Expect emotional posts and tears. Send prayers and wine.