One Week

It's been a week since we said goodbye to Zac.

It was raining and moody last Sunday - quite uncharacteristically so, even for KZN - and it was kind of fitting. I’m awkward with goodbyes - unnecessarily stoic and appropriate. Andel is more open and spontaneous. Zac was unmoved - in a good way. I don’t think I could adequately explain or describe how, the one day Zac was this nine-year old boy from Cape Town, barefoot in shorts and little else, full of energy from being cramped up in a car for two days, and acting like a literal monkey. And then the next day he was the picture of maturity and independence, dressed in his Number Ones. A proper Drakie.

 The week since has been long and short at the same time. There’ve been a couple times in our life together that Andel and I have made the mistake of working the day of departure and returning to work 12hrs after arrival. This was another one of those times. Exhaustion has nothing on the levels of fatigue I’m feeling right now! But here we are: one week into the three weeks we aren’t allowed to phone each other, and Zac, Andel and I are fine, actually. Many people, all well-meaning, have checked in on us, and it’s been surprising for them just how fine we are. I put it down to these two things: firstly, we are now absolutely convinced that this is God’s plan for Zac’s life. We did not pursue it, we did not have to struggle for it all to work out, and we have had supernatural peace. Also, and perhaps this follows on from the first point, we have never seen Zac as happy and comfortable as he is at his new school. It’s hard as parents to be sad when our child is so, so happy. 

It takes some adjustment all the same though, and the two younger kids are still getting to grips with that. They don’t have the benefit of parental love and sacrifice. Sam misses Zac when he feels he has no one to play with, or when he wants someone to show or tell him something new that he can learn. Bayley misses Zac’s energy and quick wit, and how he lets her get away with things he shouldn’t. But they are both doing so well. Even with changing schools, they have amazed us with their resilience and confidence. I look forward to see them bloom now that they both have a little more room. 

We miss being a family of five, but we are not heartsore. Right now, we are enjoying not being outnumbered, and having the bread last more than two days. Let’s see if it’s still the same next week.