Monday, 20 October 2014
Confessions of a Second-Time Mom
I've often heard it said "no two pregnancies are the same" and as I find myself pregnant with my second baby, it's never been more glaring to me.
I have a friend whose mother says "the second child is God's child". This statement is based on the trend that, generally, after your first born, every subsequent child has less attention, fewer photos and mementos, and a thinner childhood journal containing sketchier details. And I must admit, since hearing it, I've been a little bit hung up on it.
These are some of the questions flying around in my head right now:
What do I need to do to make sure this does not happen to my second child?
When did I start taking belly pics - or posting blog entries - when I was pregnant with Zac?
Do I seem less excited this time around or is my enthusiasm just tempered by the calm of not being so anxious about everything?
Why is balancing ethereal early pregnancy with demanding reality so darn hard?
And how the hell am I going to fit another person into a heart that's already filled to capacity with Zac?
Obviously I'm not the first person to have a second baby. Still I do wonder if I'm the first to feel this way and not have a solution ready. The moms I've seen go before me just seem to have adapted effortlessly into parenting an additional child, and appear to love all their babies differently but still equally and enormously. I, on the other hand, find myself in a season of spending a lot of alone time with Zac (talk about a blessing and a curse), and as a result, when we are apart, missing the synchronicity that is just ours. And since I've not yet felt consistent movement from little Button, I'm still wondering how and when we'll develop our own little exclusive bond, and how that dynamic will change me.
Spare a thought for Andel who is much of a bystander through this - at least until Button is born!
I have so many questions, and so much to learn, and while I'm often overwhelmed by all that we're approaching over the next few months, I'm in awe of the wonder that is parenthood; the gift that each precious child is, and I trust that as others have successfully navigated this road, so will I - eventually.