Christmas Eve is my favourite day of the year. It has been for a while, and I'm not really sure how it started, but it is now also a bit of an anniversary for us.
Today, 10 years ago, Andel and I got engaged. I remember we were both still working in the health and wellness industry, at different clubs. That was back in the day when neither of us took holidays over Christmas, and opted instead to work the shifts no one else wanted to, knowing that things were quiet and days were shorter.
Christmas Eve in 2008 was obviously one of those shorter shift days, because I remember Andel asking me to a late lunch. I left work early to meet him at the flat he was sharing with our friend, Adair. When I got there the living room had been beautifully set out for an indoor picnic of sorts. I remember they had this low coffee table - and scatter cushions - that worked perfectly for the occasion. I don't recall too many other details though. I just know at some point, Andel was having this serious conversation with me, and then asked me to marry him.
The rest of the proceedings are a bit of a blur. It wasn't totally unexpected; we had started talking about marriage prior to that. It was still a big change though, and. I remember sending my sisters a text saying something like, "I think I'm going to faint; I just got engaged." Is that cheesy or what?!
I'll tell you though: it was quite something relaying the story to the boys today. I realised that as adults sometimes it's easy to relay stories of significant events with these comprehensive terms that kind of cover all the detail and yet are void of emotion. When I told my friends and family about our engagement, that was all I had to say: that we got engaged. I didn't have to explain how we felt or what we said to each other. As my children asked me questions like "what does engagement mean", I found myself having to express out loud things that most of us keep quiet. The things that, quite honestly, we sometimes forget with time and pride.
While these matters remain private, as I was explaining things in the simplest terms I could come up with, I recognised an opportunity to teach my children about authenticity, vulnerability, and love. And because they already know first hand how imperfect both Andel and I are, I could it free of judgment and pressure. I could include God's design for us to be in relationship with others; the blessing of being part of families; and His grace that protects and provides.
In a world where we often adult with difficulty and reluctance, I hope that even our little story can give them something of their own story to look forward to one day...
Christmas Eve in 2008 was obviously one of those shorter shift days, because I remember Andel asking me to a late lunch. I left work early to meet him at the flat he was sharing with our friend, Adair. When I got there the living room had been beautifully set out for an indoor picnic of sorts. I remember they had this low coffee table - and scatter cushions - that worked perfectly for the occasion. I don't recall too many other details though. I just know at some point, Andel was having this serious conversation with me, and then asked me to marry him.
The rest of the proceedings are a bit of a blur. It wasn't totally unexpected; we had started talking about marriage prior to that. It was still a big change though, and. I remember sending my sisters a text saying something like, "I think I'm going to faint; I just got engaged." Is that cheesy or what?!
I'll tell you though: it was quite something relaying the story to the boys today. I realised that as adults sometimes it's easy to relay stories of significant events with these comprehensive terms that kind of cover all the detail and yet are void of emotion. When I told my friends and family about our engagement, that was all I had to say: that we got engaged. I didn't have to explain how we felt or what we said to each other. As my children asked me questions like "what does engagement mean", I found myself having to express out loud things that most of us keep quiet. The things that, quite honestly, we sometimes forget with time and pride.
While these matters remain private, as I was explaining things in the simplest terms I could come up with, I recognised an opportunity to teach my children about authenticity, vulnerability, and love. And because they already know first hand how imperfect both Andel and I are, I could it free of judgment and pressure. I could include God's design for us to be in relationship with others; the blessing of being part of families; and His grace that protects and provides.
In a world where we often adult with difficulty and reluctance, I hope that even our little story can give them something of their own story to look forward to one day...
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