The Thing About Fathers' (and Mothers') Day...

This Sunday is Fathers' Day, and like every other wife-and-mother, I am wondering how to balance downplaying the expense and stress of this occasion while still making it special and meaningful for all the dads in our lives.

For me, both Mothers' Day and Fathers' Day conjure up images of reluctant, tight-lipped children who have spent days fighting over the menu and venue, stressfully preparing copious amounts of food between piles and piles of dirty dishes that nobody wants to wash. I can't recall a single year that wasn't anxiety-inducing both in preparation for, and execution of, the day (except maybe for 2012, but that was a very special exception, and came with an anxiety all its own!).

Maybe it's the fact that it was just (still is) the done-thing in our family for everyone to come to our (family) house. Lunch is followed by tea, and sometimes by dinner, and there is an endless wave of exhausting social activity that usually doesn't involve much meaningful time with either parent. Maybe it's the fact that these days are a month apart, and trying to find a suitable gift (that's not the same as last year's) is a bit of a schlep. Maybe it's just the fact that we didn't (still don't) have a dishwasher.

Still, in a recent conversation with a colleague I learnt that not all households make quite as big a deal about these 'family holidays' as ours do. In fact, this particular colleague remembers many a time when he only remembered Mothers' Day at the prompting of his Sunday School teacher, and would sheepishly turn back to his mom in the pew a few rows behind him to mouth the words "happy Mothers' Day Mom" with a smile. They'd maybe treat themselves to lunch out, but other than that, there was no major fanfare, and no extravagant gift exchange.

It's such a delicate balance. How do you express enough gratitude to the people who gave you life (and then later to that special someone who, with you, brought your own little life/lives into the world) without it turning into a seemingly insincere circus?

I don't have the answers but clearly, what I've been doing so far hasn't worked, for anyone involved. I'm blessed with an amazing mother whose day job is looking after other people's kids (mine and my sister's included), who I think would much prefer and benefit from a good rest for Mothers' Day (and all the mamas said 'amen'). I also have a wonderful father who happens to love a good ol' home-cooked Sunday lunch, but who I've noticed is just as happy taking an afternoon drive somewhere pretty (with all his children and grandchildren in tow!). So perhaps it's time to try something new - something simple and meaningful?

Now if someone could just help me do this without breaking the bank or the heart of my gift-obsessed husband, I'd be so very grateful...