Wednesday, 18 June 2014

For Zac: Two Already?!

It's amazing how two years can seem so long and so short at the same time When I think of your two-year-long life, it's highlighted as this short, intense burst of activity in mine, and yet when I try to think of the way things were before you, it feels so long ago, I can hardly even remember it.

I guess it's natural for me to be nostalgic, thinking back on this day two years ago, when I held this little bundle in my arms, and marveled for the first time at the miracle that is motherhood. I really want to write you something meaningful on your birthday each year, so I thought it would be fun for me to take this opportunity to update you on you.

This morning when you woke up... you were more birthday than happy. You have not been feeling well, and you decided to sleep late (like 15 minutes before I had to be at work late). You still have no idea it's your birthday, and I'm not sure if I'm meant to be proud or embarrassed about that (for my part).

If I had to describe your personality in three words, I would use... Independent. Steadfast. Energetic. When I consider how two years ago I begged you to just come, and how you resisted until the end, I can see beginnings of my little rosebush then already: I have to navigate a few thorns, here and there, but I get beautiful, beautiful flowers.

This birthday is significant to me because... you're a big boy now, and big boys seem to like a bit of distance. I recall so vividly and fondly how we lay one night at the hospital when you were born: you nestled snug against my chest, with your little hand pressed against my heart. As you've grown we have had fewer of these occasions (you are hardly ever still, even when you sleep), and yet, these last few days as I've started saying goodbye to my baby, you've welcomed this closeness, and we've come full circle.

You've developed so much over the last year... All of a sudden I see how grown up you are. You speak to us in coherent sentences, and I'm still surprised by how you can give me a logical answer when I ask you something. You're still quite small for your age, but what you lack in brawn you make up in brain. You have a very good memory for rhymes and songs, which makes you look very smart. Last year this time I remember writing about how full of energy and adventure you were. I had no idea how this reserve would increase with age. You never sleep (well, you do, but not a lot), and you're never grumpy or disadvantaged by it. It's not uncommon to find you riding your motorbike back and forth across the living room when you should be going to bed! I love the way you confidently say your name, "Zat".

I would describe your personal style as... a little preppy (I hope you don't hate me for this later). It wasn't intentional, you're just like this little man in skinny jeans and golf shirts. It may also have to do with the fact that often your curly locks are found lying dead straight on your head, resembling a little choir boy.

Your favourite activities include... anything music related. You sing - in tune! - and love to play music, be it on my phone, on the tv or any one of the musical instruments you like to play at church. You're equally happy doing puzzles, reading a story, or throwing balls around the house. You think every sport on tv is 'cicket', and can form a proper scrum (but then you have had years of practice). You love brushing your teeth and playing in the bath (you have a helluva meltdown when the water is let out), and boy, are you obsessed with the beach (on more than one occasion you've ended up swimming in a diaper and being dried off with a receiving blanket).

If I could predict a future career based only on what I know about you right now, it would be... engineer or IT specialist. For a kid your age you have an abnormal attraction to all things electrical and mechanical. You love to break things apart and put them back together, and you are techno savvy like nobody's business. You take photos, select songs and watch videos on any smartphone, laptop or tv with amazing ease. When Papu got his new S4 last week, you showed him how to use it!

You like to eat... porridge and bread (not together) at the moment. You're not a fussy foodie at all, and you have a very good appetite. You readily eat vegetables (yay!), and have been known to request (and scoff down) a good sushi now and then.

You spend most of your spare time... watching, reading or asking for Finding Nemo. We've recently got you into Planes as well, but you are still pretty set on the fish. It's for this reason that, once again, your birthday cupcakes have fish on them.

Your worst habits right now are... throwing tantrums - but I'm told that comes with your age. You used to bang your head out of frustration, but I see that's become a less and less frequent occurrence, thankfully.

Your best friends are... your cousins and Lily. Before you think that we don't allow you to mingle with anyone else, let me explain: you happen to go to the same school, and these are the people you see most consistently. When you're together you and Ethan are a force to be reckoned with, and you and Jorja become more alike every day. I also think you may have a little crush on Isla...

My favourite thing about you right now... is the way you pray (you repeat everything we say in this adorable baby accent, phonetic errors and all, entirely in a whisper! No matter what we try, you cannot seem to pray out loud, and it's flippen cute!), and the way your wrap your arms tightly around my neck and say "huv hoo mama" (that makes my day, every day).

If money were no object, for your birthday I would have bought you... a drum kit, for sure. Since before you were born, you've been fascinated with rhythm. I recall many a band practice (you in utero) where you'd dance around to the music, and kick in protest when it ended. When I watch how skillfully and sensitively you play you fill my ears with sweet sounds and my musical heart with so much hope. You may be strong and sporty like your daddy, but you're also mommy's little rock star!

The one thing I really want you to know today... is just how much we love you. We aren't perfect parents (or anything else, for that matter), and we're going to mess up plenty still along the way, but we know that as we seek God's guidance and trust in His perfect plan for your life, you will grow into the young man He's purposed you to be. You make us so happy and so very proud, and we are eternally grateful for the gift that you are to us.

Happy 2nd birthday my sweet, precious, beautiful boy!


  1. A beautiful reminder (for me) of living with a two-year old. I see so much of Christopher in him: the fierce independence; the memory; the love for taking things apart and putting them back together. I know that he will bring you more joy than you can imagine; enough challenges to keep you on your knees for him and more love than you could dream of having. Enjoy every moment. Always. xx

  2. So well said! May he continue to be this blessing, and may you continue to guide him on the right path.