Lockdown Day 19 - School

The Department of Education gave many reminders to parents about this period of lockdown being a holiday. I confess though, I did not follow that advice. In our house, I have been teaching online since our term started on March, 23 - before lockdown even started - so we have been working. This also means that Sam has been attending virtual school, and Bayley by association. Zac was not going to get a free pass here, and have me deal with complaints about boredom and inequality. So, we've been doing school for a while.

I have spoken to many friends and family who are also juggling the responsibilities of work and home, and while I know this doesn't work for everyone, I thought I would share what we are doing to have some kind of routine in our house. We have three kids - Grade 3, Grade RR and Nursery - so we needed to be creative in putting something together that allowed them to have age appropriate activities and timeframes while still being somewhat synchronous to keep the adults sane. This is our schedule. Use it, don't use it. It's been my saving grace - and the kids seem to like it too!

Lockdown Day 18 - Two is Better than One

Two is better than one. And five is better than two. Ask me; I know!

As much as I crave some time to myself, I would not exchange the chaos of our family right now. Here are some of the things that my family gives me that I am most thankful for at this time:

My family gives me purpose outside of what I do for a living. They have given me an opportunity to care for them - even teach them - in a way that I've never been able to. They have allowed me to really prioritise being a wife and mother. And I have been able to find joy in it because it's not competing with everything I usually need time for. It's still helluva tiring, don't get me wrong, but it's worth it.

They give affection. I have two dominant love languages. One of them is physical touch. I can hardly walk past anything I am intrigued by and not reach out to touch it. This is only amplified with my family. I give lots of hugs and kisses, I rub my kids bellies and backs, I stroke their hair. Let's face it, I wouldn't be able to do any of this if I weren't house-bound with my family at this time. Thankfully, they return the favour, and my love tank has remained topped up.

My other love language is quality time, and my family is bringing me companionship. Andel and I sometimes chat about whether or not we would remarry if the other passed away, and we always joke that I would not survive solo. It's the truth. I'm an introvert and enjoy my alone time, but the one thing even better than alone time, is having it with someone else around. There is no shortage of conversation, stimulation, and integration around here right now, and I'm thankful for the company.

My children never fail to entertain. Between the crazy things that they do, funny faces that the pull, and choice phrases that come out of their mouths, we spend a lot of time laughing out loud. Maybe it's their age; perhaps it would be different if we were living 10 years from now. Still, I really love that they have embraced the adjustment, and are making the most of it. I'm also so glad that we have a big family -  they can entertain each other.

Family Day has taken on new meaning this year... Enjoy your time with yours.

Lockdown Day 17 - Easter

I love how Easter reminds us of the victory that we have in Christ Jesus. It's even more hopeful this year as the whole world wonders what will become of us. I'm reminded of the song,

Because He lives, I can face tomorrowBecause He lives, all fear is goneBecause I know - yes, I know - He holds the futureAnd life is worth the living, just because He lives

I woke up this morning, after a storm raged all night, to glorious sunshine - a new beginning, if you will. My heart was light, and I was filled with joy and peace. And then I realised I had been signing an old song in my head, probably from before I woke. I have shared it here because I believe this is the message of Hope that the Holy Spirit gave to me, for me - and for you.

Blessed Easter to you all!

Lockdown Day 16 - Panic

This seems to be the overwhelming sentiment in South Africa right now. Following the announcement on Thursday evening that the lockdown will be extended for another two weeks at least, there has been the inevitable knock on effect of loss of income.

Many, including us, are mulling over the numbers, hoping that it will still add up. Despite our best intentions of wanting to keep paying full price for everything to secure others' pay we are having to face up to the fact that, on reduced salaries, that may not be possible. This time brings with it a need for wisdom, big faith, and incredible measures of generosity.

Added to this, with the lockdown extended, it leaves the Education Department with the mammoth task of paving a way forward for the remainder of the year. I don't envy the leaders of their responsibility, or the decisions they have to make. Already, Zac's school has indicated that they are going to online learning from Tuesday - what should have been the delayed start of the new term. I have to admit that, while it's great for Zac, for me this means a greater need to be organised and busier keeping another child formally schooled.

The prospects are tiring. But I guess that's what happens when you get caught up in all the what ifs. It's difficult, but I'm determined - I will not panic; I will be at peace.

Lockdown Day 15 - Hey Mama

Hey Mama,

I see you, in your sweats
With unbrushed hair and bare feet
Your coffee cup a lifeline permanently affixed to your hand
No time to groom
No time to eat
No time to think
He sees you...

I see you, googling frantically
Zooming, loading, disconnecting
Cursing the teacher under your breath
Long forgotten primary school math
Long forgotten passwords
Long forgotten patience
He sees you...

I see you, trying to do your work
Sitting at your makeshift desk
Staring at the screen with tired eyes
So many tabs open
So many emails still unread
So many assignments not yet finished
He sees you...

I see you, late into the night
Counting out your pennies and your pantry
The day dies but the worries don't
When will it end?
Where will we be?
How will we survive?
He sees you...

He sees you and He knows you
He made you, after all
He's with you, holding onto you
He will not let you fall
He will give you strength when you are weak
He will bring life to dry bones
He will fill your cup to overflowing
He will bring peace to your homes
He's not at all surprised by this
He's still sovereign when it's tough
He is working for you, for your good
Rest!
His grace is still enough

Lockdown Day 14 - Hot Cross Buns

What is Easter without Hot Cross Buns? This year, considering we are unable to make numbers trips to the store for these seasonal delights, we decided to try making some at home.

Before I show you how this went down, I need to draw your attention to a few things:

1. Zac hates raisins. As a result we end up spending way too much on chocolate flavoured buns so that he is not left out.
2. Andel eats all his HCB with butter and cheese. It is beyond me how he does this with said chocolate variety. He is also on a gluten-free buzz.
3. Bayley and Sam love to eat. They can finish a pack of HCB in one day with ease. I think this is way too much sugar.
4. The best way for me to be healthy is to cut down on carbs. Under these conditions, I should not be allowed any HCB, unless I find a keto-friendly version

Enter Kayla Itsines' Healthy Hot Cross Buns recipe - raisin free, gluten-free options, sugarless and low calorie.

I'll admit, it doesn't taste exactly like the original, but this first attempt (at anything remotely bread-like) did not go badly at all. In fact, I'm pretty sure my kids have just eaten the last of it right now.

Blogging 301

We interrupt our regular lockdown diaries to celebrate our 301st published blog entry. Now 301 posts in 9 years is probably not much to write home about, but if you consider how many times I thought we would never get here, I think it's worth a mention today!


Happiness...

I am at the height of happiness right now. There isn't anything specific to blame for this. More than anything, I have learnt to become content, and I'm in a place of peace that I have longed for, for years.

Work... 

Who would have thought that I would be in my eighth year of school teaching this year. I certainly wouldn't have! I was so happy being a specialist tertiary lecturer, and designing curriculum, I didn't think I would be able to survive without it for long. But here I am, still teaching in schools. I realised early in my adult life that this was a calling I ran away from all of my younger life, and since I have accepted that, I have grown in whatever it is I need to do where I am - despite not knowing what that is much of the time. I am nearing 40 though, and I don't think I still want to be running sports and activities then - but who knows!


Music...

Starting a band, baby; we're starting a band. At least, that's what is feels like sometimes. Zac has being playing around on the drums for years now - and is pretty good too - and has recently started formal piano lessons too. He's loving it, and coming along quickly. Sam has suddenly grown in confidence and ability, and readily leads the singing from the front of our church. Of course, Bayley will not let herself by outdone, so by the end of it, everyone is involved somehow. Did I mention that we received a prophecy a year or so ago about us, as a family, leading nations in worship around the world?


Food...

Surprisingly, spending more time at home both over school holidays, as well as the last while under lockdown, has really impacted my kitchen skills. I've learnt to make roti and hot cross buns from scratch. I make homemade, sugar-free ice-cream; preservative-free, fruit popsicles; keto-brownies - it's getting impressive, by my standards anyway.


Adventure...

It's been a good season for adventures. We ended off 2018 taking a family trip to the UK which involved us sharing each other's space every day for over a month. Not only did we survive it; we loved it! It confirmed for us that we are ready to take on some more adventure, and so later in 2019 we took an impromptu road trip up the Garden Route to get a new car, and then had a hellish experience with AirBnB that took us on an unexpected and total treat of an adventure in Wellington. Since then, we're been braving more family things like camping, and now, surviving lockdown.


Love...

Andel and I have managed to keep our love under control, and for the first time on an anniversary blog, we are not adding another human to the family. Seriously though, we have crossed over into the second decade of marriage, and if I'm honest I have to say that it's way better than the first! All that pressure of trying to figure everything out is gone, and we have finally gotten over all our hangups that sometimes prevented us from being real with each other. We are in love with our three amazing kids - and them with each other. And for now the only pets we have are: their dream dog, Strava (not yet a reality), a pending hamster (that Sam wanted for his birthday), and the gecko family outside that the kids have adopted.


Memories...

I sometimes find myself scrolling back, trying to find out what we were doing a year, two years, or three years ago at this time. I have laughed, cried, and travelled back in time marvelling at the amazing things we've done, the variety of things we've been through - good and bad - and how God has taken us through it all. It's a wonderful tool to recall His faithfulness, and to testify of His goodness. The kids have also started enjoying looking back - for now, at the pictures - and remembering the events. I hope they'll have access to this for a long time still.


Play...

Things have gotten pretty serious in this area. Andel has taken his cycling to a new level. He's now done two sub-3hr Cape Town Cycle Tours (apparently that's a really good indicator?), placed 2nd overall in Knysna, and completed two team stage races - one of which he and his partner ended in 3rd place. Zac, in the meantime, has started playing cricket. I could devote a whole separate post to this, because he's crazy about it, and crazy good. Anyway, he started playing competitive mini cricket at school and club this past summer, and is loving it. So are we - except for the 08h00 Saturday matches; that we don't love as much. Sam has yet to decide on a path as far as his sport goes. He was enjoying playing rugby with Rugby Tots, as well as some cricket, but to be honest, I think Zac's intensity kills it for him sometimes. Sam has really developed in his drawings though - I'm talking at least 5 new pictures a day, every day! And Bayley: Bayley is game for anything and everything, so wherever the rest of us are, doing whatever we're doing, she is in the mix too.

ps. I am doing nothing. Again. Unless you count Muddy Princess and Tough Mudder. I did those last year.


Dreams...

It feels sometimes like I am outgrowing my dreams. Perhaps outgrowing is harsh. I think I am maturing, and I don't feel the same failure I used to about them being so elusive. I'm back at uni during my masters, but it's no longer for my ego. In fact, what I wanted to achieve in one year, I will now probably only achieve in four, but I am totally okay with prioritising being a good mom and wife, and a faithful worker above that - even though I dreamt the other day that I went to med school. All in all, my dreams have become simpler: to love and to be loved; to have my family safe and together; to be content with my life, and take full advantage of the joy in every day.


Laughter...

I guess with happiness, peace, contentment, and love one tends to laugh a lot more as well. I laugh loud and large, deep from my belly, until the tears run down my face. And sometimes, I even laugh at myself!


And everything else...

Lockdown Day 12 - Terrible Twos

If a child's degree of mischief and disobedience is directly proportional to the number of times you call said child by their full name, then Bayley Cate Klaasen is going to give us a run for our money!

This girl is the light of our lives. She has a little bit of everyone in just the right proportions for her to be smart, funny, loving, and simply delightful - and well as absolutely, flipping naughty! Man, since the official lockdown, she has just come out all guns blazing, and given us a full dose of her relentless energy and larger-than-life personality. And as a side order to that, we have had mirrors covered in toilet soap, khoki drawings on the walls, smashed guava lining our driveway, and daily theft of the contents in our pantry cupboards. I suddenly realise why I pay her daycare the fees that I do.

Today she finished me. She dresses herself - on the days when she actually gets dressed, that is. Usually, she prefers to walk around naked all day - and today she decided to go for an autumn, Easter-inspired outfit. She then also opted to tie her hair back as it was falling into her eyes all the time. She looked so cute, I wanted to freeze the moment and ponder in it a bit. Because right after that, she just got back up to the mischief she had taken a break from before.

Hopefully this terrible twos phase is just that - a phase while she is two - because, God help us if she's going to carry this to her teens! I think Sam said it best as I overheard him and Bayley playing together, "Bayley, I love you, but you're nuts!"

Lockdown Day 11 - Family First

I didn't post last night. I was busy later into the evening than I usually am. I was watching a movie with my family. On a Monday night. I know!

I usually have a very strict weekly routine. I justify that by saying that I need to to survive. And in a way, I guess I do, although more for comfort than to continue to live. I like to get Monday off to a good start because it sets the tone for the week, so usually, the stakes - and my OCD - are high. But yesterday, I don't know, I think I just didn't think about it. Perhaps being four Mondays into homeschooling and being in some state of isolation I finally realised that we aren't going anywhere, and neither is the work, and for now, maybe we all just need to be a little kinder to ourselves.

Anyway, whatever started it, it continued throughout the day. Andel went to work while I was home doing the schoolwork for the day with the kids. They didn't do the exercise program we had planned, but they chose one they like, and they did it with gusto. The did bits and pieces of the prescribed work, and there were no real tantrums about it. They even all napped, together, for two hours (can I hear a hallelujah?). And so last evening, we watched a family movie with them before bed - all five of us on one couch.

Today's lesson: I have always put my family at the top of list of priorities. Perhaps, though, my attempts at running a tight ship, always with the intention of doing what is best for them, have sometimes sucked the life and joy out of being together. We all need days like yesterday to remind us of what it's really all about...

Lockdown Day 9 & 10 - Pause

While taking some time out this weekend, I thought perhaps it would be a nice time to catch up on what's happening outside of the lockdown. Grab a cup of something warm as we pause together.


I'm thinking about... COVID-19, I mean, aren't we all? I'm thinking about how it has literally forced the entire world into an unexpected and indefinite pause. No one knows when this lockdown life will end, and if / when it does, what will the new normal even look like? One of my thoughts around this that may be a little different to yours is just how peaceful I am about this all. And if you know me (or have read enough blog entries) you'll know I'm usually more prone to angst than peace. I think it is, in part, due to the fast from social media that I've been on the last couple weeks. It certainly helps to not have the panic popping up on all my newsfeeds. More than that though, I think this experience is making God, and His presence in our lives, more real than anything else has. I know that the peace we all feel in our home is something on He could give us.

I'm watching... more tv than I ever thought imaginable. Isn't it crazy how just being at home more - even if you have to work - means that you don't have to be as strict with a weekday routine (or is that just me?). Andel and I have basically finished Messiah (1), NCIS (17), The Good Doctor (3), Drive to Survive (1 and 2), and local miniseries The Girl from St. Agnes over the two months. They are all so good, and come highly recommended. We've just started Transplant, another medical drama (I can't escape them), and have recently taken a liking to local Afrikaans feature films. There's something about the Afrikaans culture that is so inviting. I don't know what it is, but I am loving these movies!

I'm listening to... the playlist we created to encourage ourselves and others during these troubled times. It's called Songs of Hope, and can be found on Spotify. It's a compilation of mostly worship songs, dating from as far back as the 90s to now; Word-based, faith-building, hope-giving reminders of God's promises, faithfulness and sovereignty. It's the soundtrack of our lives right now, and I'm loving sharing it with my family.

I'm loving... the cooler weather! Man, it's been hot in Cape Town for what feels like forever. Even last week, it was still in the high twenties. Then it rained today, and it was bliss! I'm more of a Winter person anyway, so I welcome the change in season. And the fact that I don't have to chase the mosquitoes out of the room every night is a bonus!

I'm busy... doing my Masters (have I mentioned that?). I registered last year in April, and I thought I would be done by now. Joke's on me though. I have had zero time and only marginally more discipline, and to be honest, my priorities have changed a lot since then. Anyway, it's still important that I get it done, and I actually submitted something this past week, so I'm already a lot further than I was before. I guess the trick is to keep this up. I won't lie: it helps being at home, and having Andel here to help. I have three years to get it done, but I'd rather not wait until then if possible, thanks.

I'm going to... start doing some DIY decorating. I think I've wanted to do this for a while, but perhaps I haven't had the headspace or money to do it. I still don't have the money, but I was in a phase of playing Design Home almost daily, and I've picked up a few tips. I'll probably only tackle this in the next school holiday, and I'll be sure to document my projects on here. If nothing else, it should be a heck of a laugh.

I'm battling with... the start of some cabin fever. Who would have thought, right? I'm such a homebody, I really didn't think I would be the one struggling with this 10 days in, but I think it's the freedom I miss. I haven't really been going to the grocery stores thanks mostly to the schlep of it all, and I've really been craving some fresh air and a walk through the Green Belt. After all, you don't live in Cape Town to stay indoors all the time. We have, at least, another nearly-two-weeks of this, so I'm not sure how far downhill this is going to go.

I'm resolving to... learn from the lockdown process. As a good friend of mine put it, "the lockdown has already taught me that I spend my money on k*k". I miss being outside, and having the convenience of getting things as I need them, but we sure have learnt to live with less. As a household we are getting to know each other better. As friends and family, we are connecting more intentionally. As individuals we are learning discipline in our workspaces, balance in our private lives, and compassion in our dealings with others. God has certainly got the world's attention; all we have to do now is turn to Him and listen.

Lockdown Day 8 - Time Out

The dictionary defines "time out" in the following ways:
1. Time for rest or recreation away from one's usual work or studies.
2. A brief break in play in a game or sport.
3. A brief period of time during which a misbehaving child is put own their own so that they can regain control of their emotions.
4. A cancellation or cessation that automatically occurs when a predefined interval of time has passed without a certain event occurring.

We are in need of a time out here, for all of the above reasons!

As mentioned yesterday, we hardly notice the difference between the week and the weekend anymore, and while that can be a good thing (think: not having to leave all the chores for Saturday), it can also become a bad thing (think: working every day, because you can). This weekend, I'm going to take a time out. After I've prepared my lessons for Monday. Ok, so I'll take a timeout on Sunday.

The kids are in need of a timeout as well. In our "normal" life, they don't watch tv or movies, or have screen time, at all during the week. It's a treat that they earn for the weekend. But when a lot of their educational activities are web-based, that's hard to control. Our of sheer desperation today I banned the tv (how else do you give consequences when there are not that many nice things to take away anymore?). It was a little weird, I admit, but for the first time in a while, I heard the kids fully engaged with each other, and using their imagination. I heard Sam and Bayley play a proper game of "I Spy". I also heard Zac playing with his cars, on his own in his room, with the greatest Formula 1 commentary to match. It reminded me that it can - and must - be done.

On the whole, we've timed out on this week already, and in the spirit of giving ourselves a break, and adjusting to this way of life as opposed to enduring it temporarily, I think we have earned it.

Lockdown Day 6 & 7 - Exhaustion

We are one week (and one-third) into our official (initial) lockdown in South Africa, and I am exhausted. Working / teaching / parenting from home has made one day blur into the next into a never-ending workweek. Despite saving time by not having to commute or do other activities outside of the house, I seem to have filled my day even more than before. It's more difficult to erect boundaries, and I find myself busy nearly all of the time. I doubt I am alone.

Just yesterday, a colleague of mine sent me this great article from The Chronicle. It takes a poignant look at the 'Corona-Inspired Productivity-Pressure', and the personal expense that comes with chasing that. Since then, I have had many more people send me this link. Either they know me very well, or I'm needing some divine intervention. The reality is that I'm tired. Physically, mentally, and emotionally, I am shattered. This morning I slept until 08h00 - and I never do that! When I'm not preparing myself for the day, I'm preparing my kids for their day, or my classes for their day, and at the end of the day, I'm just grateful I survived the day.

I'm a firm believer that there is blessing in this lockdown if we are wise enough to find it. I want to be one of those wise ones. I already know the time with my kids is an answer to many months of prayer. This family time together is the first that Andel has been home and has not had to be responsible for what is going on at work. Despite the physical distance, people are joining together. People are starting to dream, and plan. Hey, I may even be able to get going on my Masters... But first: a good night's sleep!

Lockdown Day 5 - Through the Eyes of a Child

I'm currently employed as an educator in an International School. What this means in the time of lockdown is that I am still teaching, via a virtual learning plan. As a parent, it means I am also loosely homeschooling my three kids with the help of online resources. Here are a few things I learnt today about how the kids - my school ones and my biological ones - are dealing with all of this.

This morning Sam, my newly five-year-old, had his first class interaction online. He was thoroughly overwhelmed. Andel was at the helm while I was helping Zac with his grade 3 work revision, and Sam vacillated between saying absolutely nothing, and throwing one of those tantrums I wrote about yesterday. Apparently Sam thought he was just going to be meeting up with his best friend; he didn't expect to see 12 other faces on a screen, including his teacher's.

Not long after that, I had an online "face-to-face" session with my kids. My first question to them was to find out how they were coping. Keep in mind, some of these kids are oversees either having vacated South Africa very quickly (like pack up your life in three days, kind of quickly), or having been away over our mid-semester break, and not being able to return. Some of them are exhausted from travel, relocation, and insane contact hours to maintain their South African school schedule. Some of them are sleeping in during our online sessions that range anywhere from local 08h00 to 15h00. Many of them, especially the older ones, are swamped with work and anxiety. All of them are missing interaction with their peers, and mourning the many activities they were looking forward to this term that are probably never going to happen for them. A few of them just didn't pitch up.

Interestingly enough, I also had a staff meeting today where these things were discussed, and upon reflection I have these thoughts:

* All of us who are working from home are feeling the pressure of needing to do more than we usually do. For the kids it's about needing to keep up; for the adults about needing to justify the wage we trust is still coming.

* The misconception about working from home and studying online is that there is an infinite about of time to do things. While I guess I can understand the logic of that in theory. In reality though, if everyone is expecting more that usual based on this, the net result is less time, not more.

* Connected to this: there are no office hours for online work. The day blurs into the night, and the week blurs into the weekend, instead of being more relaxed, we become more stressed.

* Suddenly the pastoral role of the teacher is almost greater than that of subject expert or master facilitator. In my 14 years of teaching I don't think I've had more meaningful influence that I have right now, and if I don't set healthy boundaries - for myself, my classes and my children - we will burn out before this lockdown is over.

Over and out. It's time an early night, I think.

Lockdown Day 4 - Birthdays

Birthdays. What have we made them? When did it become to important to have guests, and cake, and gifts?

In our family we have had three birthdays in two days in our family, and still have another to come on Wednesday. Under normal circumstances, this would be a very busy week. Two of the birthdays are on my husband's side, so it would involve traveling out of town, and then coming back for the other two. We eat way too much of what we probably shouldn't have, and spend a lot of money that we sometimes don't have. Don't get me wrong: we don't do any of this unwillingly; it just seems a little crazy now. All because, this year, there was none of that.

Being in lockdown means that my father-in-law's 70th birthday party that should have happened the past weekend did not happen. We were all pretty disappointed. He is the first member of his family to live that long, and his life is something to be celebrated. Everything that been planned and booked and prepared, and then had to be cancelled - but you know what? We decided to have a little pre-birthday dinner with the family last Wednesday, and then yesterday my mother-in-law prepared a beautiful breakfast spread for him on their patio. It looked like they could have been at a fancy hotel. It was perfect.

Today was Sam's birthday. He realised only yesterday that he would not be having a party. To be honest, he probably didn't realise right then that he would not be getting a present either (his request was a hamster, and that is not something you can hide in the house for a week before). He only turned five, so I wasn't expecting it to go as smoothly as it did with my father-in-law, but you know what? He started his day with a birthday cake and card, then his classmates and friends all sent him the most amazing video messages, and we ended the day with an international family Zoom chat - all of which totally made his day.

Today's lockdown lesson is that the most valuable thing you can give someone else is your presence. Gifts are great, but they aren't the goal. I, for one, managed to make a successful cake (with homemade dulce de leche topping), had zero stress, and fully engaged with my birthday boy the entire day. I'm not really a birthday person myself, but I could get used to this.

Sam: My Favourite Five

No one could have guessed that this year Sam would be spending his birthday in lockdown, and when the realisation eventually dawned on him yesterday, he was bitterly disappointed that no one would be able to celebrate with him. I know this post and my lastminute.com cake is not going to do much to make up for it, still, I wouldn't let this day go by without a special celebration focusing on just five of the many things I love about our new five-year-old.


1. Selfless
Look, no one is entirely selfless, still, at his core, Sam is all about everyone else. He is the sweetest little boy who will, without prompting, come to me when I'm feeling ill, rest the back of his hand on my head, and say, "you rest Mama, I'll look after you". He shares everything with his siblings. I'm not kidding. And will even sacrifice his beloved Blankey to cover his sister if she is cold. Listen, the fact that he will bowl to Zac for hours on end is already medal-worthy, in my opinion.

2. Sensitive
Like his dad, despite a big physical presence, Sam is a softie. He is kind and considerate - like he'll design a birdhouse with two floors - one closed, the other open, so that they can decide where they want to be. This past Summer when Australia had those devastating fires, he would cry as he prayed for the protection of the people and animals in the affected areas, and wake every morning asking if the fires had been put out yet. He cares greatly for his friends, hates seeing people get hurt, and loves a good cuddle. He feels everything deeply - from a good belly laugh to an earth-trembling tantrum.

3. Stout
Stout is the Afrikaans word for naughty, and boy, if Sam wants to be he can be helluva naughty! That tantrum I mentioned comes with an impressive roar and a serious sulk. But it doesn't last long. Sam is pretty quick to say sorry, and most of the trouble he lands himself in stems from his sense of adventure and mischief. Lately these things have included smashing guavas (from our neighbour's tree) into our walls, teaching Bayley to urinate in the yard, and creating flavoured water by adding twigs and other greenery to ours.

4. Spiritual
Sam really loves the Lord. I thought he'd be too young to really understand much about our faith, but Jesus wasn't kidding when He said we need to be like kids to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Not too long ago, he and Zac were asking me about Father Christmas, and how you can know whether or not he is real. In conversation, I asked, "How do you know God is real?". Both boys were confident, "That's obvious! He hears us when we pray. Look at all the things He's made and done". Most recently Sam has also taken to wanting to sing in my band at church. I discouraged this for a while thinking it may be seen as a distraction - or my family overthrowing the other band members - but I have seen my boy worship, and He does it in spirit and in truth, with his whole heart.

5. Surprising
I think the most encompassing thing about Sam is that he never ceases to surprise us, in the most amazing ways. I remember when, at his first birthday, he still wasn't speaking much, and then, a couple weeks later, he just started chatting away in these full sentences, like it was there all along. And that's pretty much how he lives his life - along his own path, according to his own schedule. And that has been his greatest gift to me; to get me to slow down, and enjoy things like he does. I have seen him develop into this talented artist, hard-working sportsman, creative designer, and resilient worker. I can't even begin to imagine what he'll show us next.

This past year has come with its challenges, the biggest being Sam having to get specs to try to save his eyesight. God has been so gracious to him, and Sam has taken everything in his stride, with that megawatt smile on his face. I am so grateful for the gift Sam is to me, and to our family.

We love you so much, Super Sam! Happy birthday, big boy!

Lockdown Day 3 - Kitchen Things

Do you know what has bothered me most about this lockdown so far? Cooking. I'm not the world's top kitchen queen, and would far rather decorate a cake or plate a meal than actually make it, so this idea of having to make multiple meals a day, 7 days a week is taking its toll. There's no relief of a ready-made meal (those are always sold out by the time I get online) or the luxury of someone else making the food for me. Not only am I running out of food; I'm running out of ideas too.

Add to that the fact that it is Sam's 5th birthday tomorrow. It's panic stations here. Of course, we aren't going to have anyone coming around, so you would think that I am off the hook, so to speak - but since when has a five-year-old cancelled a party? No, my Sam had his heart set on a Pikachu cake. I searched and searched for something I thought I may be able to pull off. I found a 3-ingredient sponge cake recipe, and I was just about to make the icing when Sam remembered that he, like his brother and father, hated icing. His solution: I was going to have to eat all the icing off the cake before they ate it. It was a hard no from me.

The cake Sam actually wanted

Eventually, Sam settled on an alternative: cake with caramel. Of course, I had no caramel.

Thank the Lord for the internet and the copious amount of Bigger Bolder Baking I have had to watch with the boys over the years. There I found a caramel recipe, and quickly decided that was not something I was going to try under lockdown conditions. Fortunately, on that same page was a link to Homemade Dulce de Leche, which is even yummier than caramel, and so I spent my evening (seriously, it takes over 2hrs to make) doing that.

So here's another thing lockdown has brought me: I have been forced to make do with what I have at my disposal, including my seemingly limited skill. And the funny thing is, when you know there are no other options, your effort often exceeds your expectation.

Of course, we haven't actually had the cake yet. I'll let you know tomorrow how it really turned out.

Lockdown Day 2 - What Saturdays are Made Of

Lockdown is what Saturdays are made for!

Today, for the first time in at least eight years, it was Saturday, and I did absolutely nothing. Of course, it helps when you can't actually go anywhere to do anything else. Still, it was pretty heavenly. I slept it, did some stretch with Andel, had bunch at 12h00, took a two-hour nap, and watched series in bed. It made me realise that for the longest time, I have been using Saturdays to catch up on things that I feel I have missed out on during the week. This has ranged from simply being able to break from routine and get out of the house, to catching up on all the household responsibilities that we require to be in place to function from Monday to Friday. In short, I have been living for a weekend to prepare for the week, and really, that's not living at all.

So even though it's only Day 2, already I see immense benefit this forced shutdown is bringing to my toxic way of life. I have missed this feeling of relaxation and cheerful productivity. I see more and more how this experience can be the start of something brand new and healthy for people and families all over the world, beginning with me.

Lockdown Day 1 - Into the Trenches

When approaching a 21-day home isolation with your family, what would you rather have: a good day, getting off to a positive start, while knowing that things are not always going to be that good, or would you rather a not-so-good day, knowing that things can only get better?

This was my question to myself last night. It's easy to build up the unknown into something negative. After all, that's what we've coming to expect right? I thought back to the times that I could not manage my kids for an hour, and calculated dismal chances of survival during this lockdown. Then I thought about the fact that I've already been home with them two weeks, so maybe (hopefully) we would already be in a routine that would not be too difficult to stick to. Turns out, it's a bit of both.

Today was another normal homeschooling day, except that Andel was here. If you know Andel, you know that he is not a morning person (not for non-cycling things, anyway), and when I woke him at 07h30 to say he should get up and dressed so not be late for his first day, he was not impressed. I'm not kidding: it took a home workout and two cups of coffee in an hour for him to perk up. School time was interesting. I likened it to the first day having a student teacher or substitute shadowing you. You know they can do it, but they're reluctant to take initiative at first. Of course, Andel is good with the kids, and they love having him home - he's their dad after all. Not much work got done though. So I laughed when, at nap time, Andel said, "I really think we've done a good job today. They're all sleeping. It's been productive. Now I'm going to relax." I had to remind him that we were only half way through the day and the workload. He nearly passed out.

Thankfully tomorrow is the weekend, and I am looking forward to it. We have been intentional about making this time about being together, and doing things that often we swap out for things away from home that we feel are more interesting, or that we don't want to miss out on. I, for one, cannot wait to sleep in good and proper tomorrow morning. There'll be no cricket matches, no appointments, no grocery shopping, no playdates or parties... I feel more relaxed already!

So there's day one, done and dusted. Another 20 more (at least) to go.

A makeshift multi-grade classroom at the dining table

ps. I fell asleep before I could order my groceries last night. Fortunately my alarm still goes off after 06h00, so I had my order in before 07h00, and delivered to my front door by 11h00. For all the locals who do their shopping at Checkers, download their Sixty60 app, and try it out. Delivery is free!

Lockdown

The past three weeks have been incredible. One minute I was at work, discussing the probability to COVID-19 coming to South Africa, and in seemingly the next, I am heading to bed after my last permissible day outside, with the local infection number sitting close to 1000.

Three days ago the President of South Africa issued a national lockdown beginning at midnight tonight for 21-days, to combat the rapid spread of the virus. I think deep down, everyone knows it the right move. Still, I don't think anyone of this generation can imagine what's to come.

And perhaps that is why I'm going to record each day on this platform. The novelty, coupled with the fact that I am on a social media fast, should gain some interesting perspectives, especially since being locked down without Facebook and Twitter (those are the only ones I use - I'm over 35 so it shouldn't come as a surprise) I genuinely don't know what's going on outside of our space.

Speaking of which... Here are, in an entirely random non-order, some of my immediate thoughts:

- Our home is pretty small. It's never bothered us; we've always just wanted a proper yard. I have a feeling it's going to get even smaller.
- I have already been home with all three kids for nearly two weeks after the abrupt school closure just before the scheduled holiday. Up until now I've been able to take them outside daily.
- Andel has been working so tomorrow will be his first day at home with us.
- The three biggest things I'm juggling right now is: homeschooling the kids, teaching my classes online, and trying to stay up to date on my own studies. I have never felt more insane.
- For kids who know quite a bit about Corona Virus, mine are pretty unfazed by its proximity to us. While they diligently wash their hands, and try (sometimes not so successfully) not to touch things, they are not afraid. Zac is more concerned that I am not shopping like everyone else.
- Our home is incredibly peaceful, and there is a real expectation during this waiting. Let's hope it's still there tomorrow.

Wishing you all good health, and safety during this time. I'm off to try get my grocery order in when it opens at 00h00.

Faith Like Zac

The kids of the world can teach us adults so much, if we only just stopped to take note of them. The issue of faith is something that, repeatedly, I am schooled on by my children. And I don't mean a pie-in-the-sky type of faith where we believe that somehow, somewhere what we hope for becomes our reality. I'm talking about real, specific, demanding faith.

Zac in particular has been one of very bold faith. He approaches God with the entitlement of a child who knows their Father is the Creator of the universe. From an early age, he would wow and shame me with his declarations, fearlessly insisting, despite the heavy clouds in the sky, that God would open the sky and bring sunshine because that day was his swimming day. Not much has changed.

At the start of the year, while watching the cricket, I realised that the children walking the Proteas out onto the field were from a local cricket club - and not just any local club; the children were from the local cricket club Zac was going to play for. Knowing this would be disappointing for him, we broke the news gently. Of course he was upset; he's seven, after all. But he surprised me with his upbeat response. "I know," he said, "but I'll get another chance." I didn't have the heart to explain to his bright mind just how slim that chance was, so I left it.

Then one day, less than four weeks later, I had a message on my desk to call my dad. I hate those messages, by the way. They never fully inform you about the context, and my default is to assume that something is wrong. Of course, I called back immediately.
"Can you get the school to allow Zac to leave early next Tuesday?," he asked
"Tuesday? Why? What's happening on Tuesday?," I asked, not entirely sure if I'd missed something important.
"I got him into the group of boys walking the Proteas out at Newlands. But don't tell him; let it be a surprise!"

As an avid cricket supporter, and a wanna-be-great mom, I was so excited for him. I could't disguise the wide smile that broke out on my face. And then I laughed. It was one of those deep, long laughs where I imagined God saying, "look what I have done", and me answering in reply, "of course You did!".

Yesterday was the big day, and when Papu collected Zac from school, and finally told him about the plan, Zac confidently told him he already knew. When the moment arrived, he proudly walked onto the field (I was watching from my classroom on my laptop). When I saw the first glimpse of him, my heart leapt, and then I must admit: I was bummed. He had landed up standing with the umpire. I asked him about this when he got home after the game:
"Zac, were you a little disappointed to be standing with the umpire?" I asked gently.
"Mom, I was literally standing next to Quinton de Kock the whole time," he said bouncing excitedly as he talked. "Why would you think that I would be upset?!"

Yes, I would do well to be more like Zac sometimes...